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  1. Entertainment
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50 Worst Movie Titles

Features
By Joshua Winning published 19 October 2011

Movies that are begging not to be seen

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Our Vines Have Tender Grapes (1945)

Why So Terrible: Is it just us, or does this sound remarkably dodgy? Considering it’s a movie about a Norwegian farmer working in Wisconsin, we're assuming it's just us.

What It Should Have Been Called: The Foreign Farmer . Obvious, really, isn't it?

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

Why So Terrible: There are far too many commas going on in there. And though the title’s (presumably) supposed to make us all wonder what Wong Foo did for dear Julie, it merely inspires fatigue. Not bad for a film that has Wesley Snipes in drag.

What It Should Have Been Called: Drag Kings .

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes! (1978)

Why So Terrible: We weren’t aware that tomatoes had the capacity to be killer. Or attack for that matter. Either way, it sounds about as terrifying as being licked by kittens.

What It Should Have Been Called: Ketchup If You Can.

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It (1990)

Why So Terrible: It leads to no end of confusing conversations. “Have you seen It ?” “What?” “ It .” “ What ?” “The film It .” “Oh. No.” So annoying.

What It Should Have Been Called: Floaters .

Jesse James Meets Frankensteins Daughter (1966)

Why So Terrible: That’s one meet-cute we could do without. Rough-and-tumble bad boy Jesse James and some reanimated corpse? No thank you.

What It Should Have Been Called: Deathly Boring .

Spanglish (2004)

Why So Terrible: It’s not even a real word! It also sounds more like an adjective used to describe something that’s just really shiny.

What It Should Have Been Called: Lost In Translation . Oh, hang on…

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)

Why So Terrible: The first film’s title was a fun play on superlatives. This lame sequel’s title settles for lazily playing on the first film's title, as well as When Harry Met Sally . It’s just dumb.

What It Should Have Been Called: Dumb & Dumbest.

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Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace (1999)

Why So Terrible: Just what is the phantom menace? Is it the Emperor? Or Anakin? Or Jar-Jar? Or is the film itself just one big horrible menace to all things Wars ? We prefer the latter.

What It Should Have Been Called: Star Wars: Episode I – The Rock Bottom .

Curse Of The Queerwolf (1988)

Why So Terrible: Thought the Twilight werewolves were bad? This title makes a mockery of lycanthropes – before the film itself goes on to half-heartedly gay bash the night away.

What It Should Have Been Called: Cry Wolf.

Rat Pfink A Boo Boo (1966)

Why So Terrible: So bad that it won the Golden Turkey Award. According to movie myth, the ‘A’ should actually have been ‘And’, but the artist creating the titles made a (groan) boo boo that never got fixed. Director Ray Dennis Steckler, however, says his daughter came up with the title. Which would explain a lot.

What It Should Have Been Called: The Depraved .

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Joshua Winning
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Josh Winning has worn a lot of hats over the years. Contributing Editor at Total Film, writer for SFX, and senior film writer at the Radio Times. Josh has also penned a novel about mysteries and monsters, is the co-host of a movie podcast, and has a library of pretty phenomenal stories from visiting some of the biggest TV and film sets in the world. He would also like you to know that he "lives for cat videos..." Don't we all, Josh. Don't we all.  

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