Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
Why So Terrible: Have you read it? Happily, that terrible title is a fitting representation of the terrible movie, which shows what happens when Martian children are diagnosed with depression. The only thing that can save them? A visit from Santa Claus. Ho-ho-hrrrnnn…
What It Should Have Been Called: Santa, Interrupted .
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
Why So Terrible: A rather obvious play on words, this daft title is all about selling up front the film's shockingly stupid story. Wonder why nobody tuned in.
What It Should Have Been Called: Bedlam.
The Men Who Stare At Goats (2009)
Why So Terrible: Though it’s got a charming B-movie vibe to it, the idea of watching an entire 90 minutes in which men sit staring at members of the Bovidae family isn’t exactly enticing.
What It Should Have Been Called: The Men Who Stare At Coats would’ve been just as riveting - and have about as much relevance to the plot, as well.
The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants (2005)
Why So Terrible: The ‘Pants’ part gets hilariously lost in translation here on our British shores, stirring up dodgy images of girls sharing very crusty old underwear.
What It Should Have Been Called: Days Of Denim .
Zombie Strippers! (2008)
Why So Terrible: Enough with the exclamation marks – we get it, you’re being ‘ironic’ or whatever. Your title still sucks.
What It Should Have Been Called: Strip Joints .
Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town (1989)
Why So Terrible: It does what it says on the tin, but nothing else besides. That’s what you get for making a movie about zombie-killing woman bikers.
What It Should Have Been Called: Chrome Hearts was its equally bamboozling alt title. What’s wrong with just calling it Biker Babes ?
Manos, The Hands Of Fate (1966)
Why So Terrible: Who or what is Manos? Is it the man who has the Hands Of Fate? Or is that the name of the Hands Of Fate themselves? Ah, it’s Spanish for ‘hands’, is it? Ah well, that title’s still doing nothing to prompt a trip to the video store.
What It Should Have Been Called: The Handy Man.
Dont Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead (1991)
Why So Terrible: Awesome movie, horrible title. Every time we’re forced to say it (especially the drawling ‘mom’ part), a little piece of us dies alongside the babysitter.
What It Should Have Been Called: Grow Up .
xXx (2002)
Why So Terrible: Typing it into Google leads to all sorts of embarrassingly smutty encounters. None, sadly, involving Vin Diesel.
What It Should Have Been Called: Action!
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Why So Terrible: This one stinks of desperation, as Dark Castle attempt to distance their remake from the original with a little hip text speak. It just means the title’s damn near illegible.
What It Should Have Been Called: Shockingly Bad.
