Precious (2009)
Closer (2004)
The Bad Date Movie: You might think that a film starring professionally gorgeous A-listers Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman and Jude Law would be a frothy, upbeat treat. However, moody old Clive Owen is the clue. This one is every bit as depressing as one of his trademark wet-weekend-in-Scunthorpe scowls.
Impact On Your Evening: You’ll be rifling through each other’s phones, looking for evidence of bad behaviour.
Don't Look Now (1973)
The Bad Date Movie: Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie, then a real-life couple, share some passionate sex scenes in Nicholas Roeg’s eerie drama. That said, they’re also mourning a dead child and chasing after a hideous dwarf. So maybe not an ideal choice after all…
Impact On Your Evening: Sleeping with the lights on…
Teeth (2007)
The Bad Date Movie: Body-horror and romance don’t tend to go hand in hand, and that point is doubly relevant when the body-horror in question involves a vagina with teeth. Guaranteed mood-killer.
Impact On Your Evening: Don’t be surprised if he makes his excuses a little earlier than anticipated.
Kids (1995)
The Bad Date Movie: What could be more cosy than a harrowing tale of teenage sex and drug abuse set against the backdrop of HIV-era New York? That’s right, nothing.
Impact On Your Evening: Prepare for your partner to demand a clean bill of sexual health before you even think about approaching the bedroom.
Shame (2011)
The Bad Date Movie: Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan play two desperately unhappy siblings, emotionally scarred by some unnamed trauma from their childhood. He deals with it through intense, emotionless sex; she, through emotionally incontinent club-singing. Neither can find much to smile about.
Impact On Your Evening: The matter of Fassbender’s famous appendage will linger uncomfortably between you like the proverbial elephant in the room.
Requiem For a Dream (2000)
The Bad Date Movie: A journey into the depths of despair, as a group of hopeless drug addicts destroy themselves and everything around them in pursuit of their next fix. Is there a happy ending? Give it a watch and find out for yourself!
Impact On Your Evening: A mutual numbed silence is the best you can hope for here.
Men Behind The Sun (1988)
The Bad Date Movie: What could bring two people closer together than a stunningly unflinching round-up of the atrocities committed by the Japanese during WW2? You both like extreme gore, right?
Impact On Your Evening: That lovely meal you ate before the film? You’ll be seeing that again, shortly.
Nil By Mouth (1997)
The Bad Date Movie: A grubbily depressing tale of domestic abuse, as Ray Winstone’s dissolute monster terrorises wife Kathy Burke for a perceived infidelity (actually an innocent game of pool). Powerful stuff, but grim in the extreme.
Impact On Your Evening: You probably won’t feel like a few drinks afterwards…
Blue Valentine (2010)
The Bad Date Movie: A searing deconstruction of a failed relationship, featuring such cheery Friday night issues as alcoholism, abortion and sexual rejection. Mmm, romantic.
Impact On Your Evening: A swift break-up, on account of the unshakable feeling that your relationship will likely end up in the toilet anyway.
