Hard Candy (2005)
The Bad Date Movie: Planning to get your girlfriend on-side with a bit of girl power, eh? Not with this, you won’t. Not unless castrating paedophiles flicks her switch. Check if she subscribes to The Daily Mail before giving this one a go.
Impact On Your Evening: Chances are he won’t be uncrossing his legs for a good 24 hours after this one.
The War of the Roses (1989)
The Bad Date Movie: Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner tear strips off each other for the duration of the movie, with reconciliation averted even at the last. A cold, cold portrayal of marriage!
Impact On Your Evening: If you were dragging your heels over heading down the aisle, this one might actually be an inspired choice!
Eden Lake (2008)
The Bad Date Movie: A couple embark upon a lovely lakeside holiday… only to find themselves at war with the local yoof. Michael Fassbender and Kelly Reilly might have movie-star looks at the beginning of the movie, but by the end… not so much.
Impact On Your Evening: A taxi home (you won’t want to walk through that estate after this) and an evening spent twitching the curtains.
Knocked Up (2007)
The Bad Date Movie: We like Knocked Up a lot. It’s funny, sweet-natured and boasts that rarest of beasts, a non-irritating performance from Katherine Heigl. However, having seen how just one unprotected encounter can lead to trouble, chances are that any romance will be done for the evening.
Impact On Your Evening: “Shall we just cuddle tonight?” “Yeah, I was thinking that. Let me just put a condom on first, though.”
The Bad Date Movie: On paper, it looks perfect: she gets to swoon over Gosling, he gets to lust after Mulligan, everyone can enjoy the unlikely romance that blossoms between the two of them. That’s all well and good for the first 40 minutes or so, but then Gosling gets his stamp on, and all hell breaks loose!
Impact On Your Evening: Any hand-holding will be of the white-knuckle variety after the tension of the second half!
Six Days Seven Nights (1998)
The Bad Date Movie: Sparky banter between two mismatched characters who end up falling for each other… none of that applies to this godawful clunker which chucks Anne Heche and Harrison Ford together and hopes for the best, despite their total lack of chemistry. You’ll be far too irritable for sweet nothings after an hour of Heche’s whining…
Impact On Your Evening: Whoever chose the movie can expect the cold shoulder for the rest of the night. Or even the rest of the week.
The Comfort Of Strangers (1990)
The Bad Date Movie: On the surface, you could be conned into thinking that this European thriller is going to be a steamy but essentially good natured romp. It stars Natasha Richardson and Rupert Everett, for heaven’s sake. However, when Christopher Walken turns up, things soon take a turn for the sadistic.
Impact On Your Evening: You’ll think twice about making conversation with any other couples who cross your path…
The Bad Date Movie: Willem Defoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg play a married couple looking to get their relationship back on track with a nice country retreat. Perfectly harmless stuff, you might think. That is, until the genital mutilation kicks in.
Impact On Your Evening: You’ll probably be getting changed in separate rooms, into the thickest, dowdiest pyjamas you can find.
American Psycho (2000)
The Bad Date Movie: Men, some advice. Winning a lady’s trust is one of the key parts of converting a date into something more meaningful. Don’t undermine all your good work by sowing a seed of doubt in her head that you might be a nailgun-wielding nut-job!
Impact On Your Evening: If you’ve not slept together before watching this, don’t expect that to change in a hurry afterwards.
Fatal Attraction (1987)
The Bad Date Movie: If American Psycho will send the girls running, then Glenn Close’s bunny-boiling antics should scatter the chaps in similar fashion.
Impact On Your Evening: He’s been in the bathroom an awful long time, hasn’t he? Wait, is there a window in there?