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Night On Bald Mountain
Pink Elephants On Parade
The Movie: Dumbo (1941)
The Dark Moment: After paying a visit to his mother, baby elephant and circus slave accidentally gets trollied on bubbly and ends up having the most horriffic hallucination featuring scary-ass pink elephants.
If It Had A Song: "Did you ever see an elephant fly? / Drink up, my friend, I'll show you a good time / Hang on a second, this isn't lemonade / Ooh, look! Pink elephants on parade..."
The Furnace
The Movie: Toy Story 3 (2010)
The Dark Moment: *Gulp* It looks like it might be over for Woody, Buzz et al as they find themselves trapped in a furnace full of trash and sinking slowly towards the flame. All they can do is hold hands... and all we can do is cry.
If It Had A Song: "You had a friend in me / You had a friend in me / But now the road is rough ahead / And we're about die a fiery death / Just remember what your old pal said / You had a friend in me."
The Opening Sequence
The Movie: Up (2009)
The Dark Moment: An eight minute emotional rollercoaster, Up's beginning tells the story of Carl and Ellie, as they grow up, fall in love and grow old together... and then she dies.
If It Had A Song: "Don't fret, dear viewer / Don't worry, young pup / We may have depressed you greatly / But the only way forward is UP!"
Mufasa's Death
The Movie: The Lion King (1994)
The Dark Moment: Having rescued his son Simba from a wildebeest stampede, King Mufasa meets his end at the claws of his brother as he's thrown to the bottom of a gorge.
If It Had A Song: "I should have known he'd betray me / Scar was always a brat / If only I'd seen this coming / I wouldn't be about to go splat!"
Savages
The Movie: Pocahontas (1995)
The Dark Moment: Lusty English captain John Smith is taken captive by the Powhatan Tribe, prompting an incredibly racist, hate-fuelled ditty sung by both the Brit troops determined to rescue him, and the tribesmen who plan to excecute him.
If It Had A Song: We do love it when Disney does our work for us...
"What can you expect from filthy little heathens? / Their whole disgusting race is like a curse / Their skin's a hellish red / They're only good when dead / They're vermin, as I said, and worse."
And it gets better...
"This is what we feared / The paleface is a demon / The only thing they feel at all is greed / Beneath that milky hide / There's emptiness inside / I wonder if they even bleed."
WTF, Disney?
Clayton's Death
The Movie: Tarzan (1995)
The Dark Moment: Suspended over a cliff post-battle, Clayton begins hacking away at the vines supporting him... only to find they can't support his weight before he gets to the ones wrapped around his neck. Lightning strikes, and for a brief second we see the shadow of his lifeless, hanged corpse.
If It Had A Song: "Oh, dear. What a to-do / All I wanted was gorilla or two / A couple of apes to take back to England / But now I've gawn and got myself hanged."
Frollo's Frustration
The Movie: Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1996)
The Dark Moment: Driven murderously insane by his sinful longing for the beautiful Esmeralda, Judge Frollo sings to the Virgin Mary, pleading for her to save him from the vulgar temptation of the apparition of Esmeralda dancing provocatively before him.
If It Had A Song: It does. Possibly the best Disney villain song of all time...
"Protect me, Maria / Don't let this siren cast her spell / Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone / Destroy Esmeralda / And let her taste the fires of hell / Or else let her be mine and mine alone."
Pleasure Island
The Movie: Pinocchio (1940)
The Dark Moment: Led astray for the second time by con artist Honest John, Pinocchio finds himself having a whale of a time on Pleasure Island. But in this horriffic scene he discovers a terrible curse which turns boys who "make jackasses of themselves" into real donkeys, who are then sold to work in salt mines and circuses.
If It Had A Song: "Now listen up, kids, and listen good / If you don't want your life to go wonky / Stay away from booze and drugs / Or you might end up a donkey."
Here endeth the rather obvious moral lesson.
Bambi's Mother Dies
The Movie: Bambi (1942)
The Dark Moment: Perhaps the most famous tear-jerking moment in Disney history, Bambi escapes a hunter only to find his mother wasn't so lucky.
If It Had A Song: *Sob* Sorry. We can't do it. It's... just.. too... painful. *Sob*
