Joes Apartment (1996)
The Animal: Insects, if we’re going to get technical, these cockroaches live in a filthy toilet and pride themselves on their mucky lifestyle.
Cutest/Best Moment: Definitely not cutest, but this group’s standout moment comes when they hit up their own song and dance routine using the sounds of the toilet as percussion.
If It Was Your Pet: You might start to worry about your home's hygiene.
The Animal: A great white shark who terrorises the coast of Amity Island, New England. He’s nicknamed Bruce.
Cutest/Best Moment: Those razor-sharp teeth eradicate any chance of Bruce being considered cute. His finest moment comes, though, when he chomps his way through the Orca, Quint’s boat, and gets Quint as a bonus.
If It Was Your Pet: You may want to seriously reconsider actually having him as a pet. Though he could be useful if you’re planning on becoming a Bond villain at some point in the future.
Finding Nemo (2003)
The Animal: Dory, a friendly Regal tang who suffers from a crippling short-term memory.
Cutest/Best Moment: After encountering a group of sharks who live by the mantra “fish are friends, not food”, Dory takes the stand to confess that she doesn’t eat fish either.
If It Was Your Pet: You could tell her all your secrets – she’d never remember them to spread them around.
Meet The Parents (2000)
The Animal: Mr Jinx, a Himalayan feline.
Cutest/Best Moment: Though Mr Jinx has a fair few tricks up his furry sleeve, it’s his ability to use a human toilet that makes him a cut above his moggy comrades.
If It Was Your Pet: You’d want to train him to do other things. Like make breakfast and fetch the TV remote.
King Kong (2005)
The Animal: A giant – no, really, GIANT – ape known as Kong who lives in the jungles of Skull Island.
Cutest/Best Moment: So many it’s hard to pick just one. If you’re looking for cute, just watch Kong’s expression of delight as Ann Darrow entertains him with circus tricks. For brutal fighting, witness Kong’s smackdown with not one, but two T-Rexs.
If It Was Your Pet: He could be a living sofa, bed and blanket – no need for expensive heating bills during the winter. Quid’s in.
The Animal: A pig who thinks he’s a sheepdog, thanks to being raised by dog Fly as one of her pups.
Cutest/Best Moment: Babe discovers the trick to getting sheep to do exactly what you want – just ask them politely. “I asked them and they did it. I just asked them nicely,” the porcine wonder tells his disbelieving mother.
If It Was Your Pet: You’d never want for another pet for the rest of your live. He’s just that adorable.
Gorillas In The Mist (1988)
The Animal: A group of mountain gorillas living the Rwandan jungle.
Cutest/Best Moment: A baby gorilla gets up close and personal with Dian Fossey, dancing around near her before climbing onto her back and contentedly sitting there.
If It Was Your Pet: You could get out your action figures and pretend that your mountain gorilla is really King Kong.
The Animal: A St. Bernard named Cujo who’s the pet of the Trenton family. When he’s bitten by a rabies-carrying bat, he goes a little mad.
Cutest/Best Moment: Cujo and a battered, beaten Donna Trenton face off outside the house, the latter armed with a baseball bat...
If It Was Your Pet: A trip to the vets for a little, harmless lethal injection would probably be the safest bet.
Jurassic Park (1993)
The Animal: A tyrannosaurus rex, brought back to life through the magic of science by John Hammond, the creator of Jurassic Park.
Cutest/Best Moment: The T-Rex escapes its confinement and wreaks havoc on the scrawny humans who are treating him as a theme park attraction. Cue one of the finest set pieces in cinema history, as Sam Neill attempts to save Hammond’s grandchildren from giant, gnashing jaws.
If It Was Your Pet: It’d probably eat all of your friend’s pets. And it’d be a nightmare finding a leash long enough.
Turner And Hooch (1989)
The Animal: A slimy but friendly Dogue de Bordeaux called Hooch, who cop Scott Turner gets lumbered with when Hooch’s owner is murdered.
Cutest/Best Moment: Turner attempts to give a very reluctant Hooch a bath .
If It Was Your Pet: You’d need to clean the sofa every ten minutes. Ick.
Free Willy (1993)
The Animal: Willy, an orca who’s kept at a theme park as its star attraction.
Cutest/Best Moment: Willy bonds with troubled 13 year old Jesse as the boy attempts to clean up the damage he’s done to the park.
If It Was Your Pet: You might want to consider super-sizing the bathtub. Or, actually, super-super-sizing.
Doctor Dolittle (1998)
The Animal: Rodney, a guinea pig.
Cutest/Best Moment: Despite appearing in a film stuffed with talking animals, Rodney’s whiny, jive-y voice always ring out loud and clear. Not least when he’s strapped to the roof of Dolittle’s car and starts singing ‘Blowin’ In The Wind’...
If It Was Your Pet: You’d be tempted to flush it down the loo. Does he never shut up?
The Lion King (1994)
The Animal: Timon and Pumbaa, a meerkat and warthog respectively.
Cutest/Best Moment: Nothing beats the pair’s rendition of ‘Hakuna Matata’, as the duo explain how they get through life – by not worrying. Simples.
If It Was Your Pet: You'd have to keep fresh bugs in the fridge for them.
The Animal: Iago, a supremely foul-mouthed parrot and henchbird to evil Vizier Jafar.
Cutest/Best Moment: After enduring endless days of having his beak stuffed with disgusting crackers by The Sultan, Iago gets his own back when Jafar takes the throne. With the former Sultan all strung up, Iago shoves crackers down his throat with palpable pleasure.
If It Was Your Pet: An elastic band around the beak would be a life-saver.
The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)
The Animal: The cat of businessman Robert Scott Carey.
Cutest/Best Moment: When Carey’s shrunk by radioactive mist, ending up just 36 and a half inches tall, the cat decides he makes for easy prey...
If It Was Your Pet: You’d better teach it not to eat people, no matter how small they are.
The Birds (1963)
The Animal: A flock of mean, eye-gouging birds who’ve gotten a taste for human flesh in Bodega Bay.
Cutest/Best Moment: That terrifying scene in which Tippi Hedren is attacked by an unruly mass of killer peckers. Shiver.
If It Was Your Pet: They’d be perfect for getting one up on your enemies – though you’ll have to figure out a way to train them first.
The Animal: Dug, a Golden Retriever who wears a special collar that means he can talk with humans.
Cutest/Best Moment: “I was hiding under your porch because I love you.” Dug sounds exactly like we all expect a dog would sound like – adorable and full of love and stuff. That, and "Squirrel!"
If It Was Your Pet: Your social life would die a swift death - you'll want to spend every second with Dug. And rightly so.
The Return Of The Pink Panther (1975)
The Animal: Just your run of the mill ordinary parrot. (Not pictured, but that’s a fair likeness.)
Cutest/Best Moment: He only appears in one scene, but he provides a big laugh as he poops in a drink. Attaboy.
If It Was Your Pet: You should get it a nappy. And teach it some more sanitary tricks.
Breakfast At Tiffanys (1961)
The Animal: Cat, who has no name, and is the pet of wacky Holly Golightly.
Cutest/Best Moment: Poor Cat’s turfed out of a taxi by Holly at the film’s climax, and acts as a, hum, cat -alyst for Holly’s epiphany. Realising that she’s made a mistake ditching her potential new boyfriend, she reunites with him. And Cat.
If It Was Your Pet: Everyone knows babies are the ultimate chick magnet. But considering Cat’s history of uniting couples, you could use him as a substitute baby in your quest for love.
The Jungle Book (1967)
The Animal: Kaa, an Indian python who’s on a mission to eat young boy Mowgli before tiger Shere Khan gets to him.
Cutest/Best Moment: Kaa croons ‘Trust In Me’ as he attempts to calm Mowgli - before he swallows him whole.
If It Was Your Pet: You’d better sleep with one eye open. Just in case.
The Animal: Misery, the pet pig of psycho Annie Wilkes.
Cutest/Best Moment: While Annie absorbs writer Paul Sheldon’s latest masterpiece, Misery rests her head on the nutjobs stomach, enjoying a good scratch.
If It Was Your Pet: It’d be an act of kindness to save her from Annie.
The Animal: Kes, a wild kestrel who becomes the only friend of bullied young thing Billy.
Cutest/Best Moment: Billy gets out in the open countryside and trains Kes to play games with him. We all get jealous that we don’t have our own wild kestrel.
If It Was Your Pet: You shouldn't leave him unattended. Horrible accidents can happen.
The Animal: A rabble of monkeys who delight in destruction. They come out of a mystical game board.
Cutest/Best Moment: The hairy nuisances completely trash the kitchen – not to mention attempt to kill Kirsten Dunst by hurling butcher knives at her. Even better, later on they steal a police motorbike. Rock on!
If It Was Your Pet: Good luck to you!
The Animal: A collection of Manhattan sewer rats.
Cutest/Best Moment: During Princess Giselle’s ‘Happy Working Song’ the rats get busy scrubbing toilets and the bathroom floor. Who knew rodents could be so good at cleaning with a little encouragement?
If It Was Your Pet: You should probably handle them while wearing rubber gloves – God knows what they’ve picked up down in the sewers.
Cats & Dogs (2001)
The Animal: Mr Tinkles, the evilest cat you ever met. He wants to take over the world.
Cutest/Best Moment: Mr Tinkles gets his comeuppance after failing to successfully take over the world. He ends up living with young Sophie, who delights in dressing him up in the most preposterous of outfits.
If It Was Your Pet: You should enter him into a cat pageant. Just to humiliate him even further.
Bell, Book And Candle (1958)
The Animal: Siamese cat Pyewacket, who not only has an awesome name, but is also the familiar of witch Gillain.
Cutest/Best Moment: “Hasn’t this cat got anything better to do?” Pyewacket gets acquainted with James Stewart, setting up shop on his shoulder. Stewart’s none-too-pleased about it.
If It Was Your Pet: Hopefully some of its familiar magic would rub off on you.
Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004)
The Animal: Baxter, the indispensable pet/best friend of the titular news reader.
Cutest/Best Moment: Having miraculously survived being shoved off a bridge, Baxter follows his master to the zoo and saves him from a very hungry bear.
If It Was Your Pet: He’d make for the perfect guard dog – cute and cuddly on the outside, but possessed of a knack for diplomacy.
The Wizard Of Oz (1939)
The Animal: Scary flying monkeys, the henchbeasts of the Wicked Witch of the West.
Cutest/Best Moment: Dispatched by the Wicked Witch to bring back pain-in-the-neck Dorothy, the flying monkeys swoop Dorothy from the ground and carry her screaming towards her fate.
If It Was Your Pet: You’d never have to get the Tube again! Downside, they might drop you mid-journey and paint the pavement with you.
George Of The Jungle (1997)
The Animal: Ape, the talking gorilla who’s a buddy to the titular jungle resident.
Cutest/Best Moment: Pretty much anything Ape says is rendered comedy genius thanks to the snappy tones of John Cleese, who lends the character his pipes. “George's Secrets. There's the shortest book ever written,” is one of his better quips
If It Was Your Pet: You could have intellectual conversations for hours.
Chicken Run (2000)
The Animal: Babs, a chicken who’s a few nuggets short of a full KFC meal, if you catch our drift.
Cutest/Best Moment: “I don't want to be a pie. I don't like gravy.” Babs fails to grasp the gravity of the hens’ dire situation when Ginger discovers they’re all to be mashed into chicken pies.
If It Was Your Pet: She’d be handy for knitting you accessories, though her incessant clucking might get a bit trying.