Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
The Original: A steamy, erotic thriller that's surprisingly non-crap, given the quality of most entries into that particular genre. Sharon Stone stole the show with her infamous leg-crossing scene...
The Sequel: Stone returns, and this time she's joined by a po-faced David Morrissey and Stan Collymore. Yes, Stan Collymore the footballer. It would have been weird to make a sequel with a set of A-listers, but this is ridiculous!
Possible Fan-Edit: Watching Stan take an ice-pick through his head might have been worth the price of admission.
Caddyshack 2 (1988)
The Original: A golf club wouldn’t immediately seem rich in potential as the setting for a bawdy screwball comedy, but with Rodney Dangerfield and Bill Murray on board, the normal rules don’t apply…
The Sequel: Neither Rodney Dangerfield nor Bill Murray are on board. The normal rules are back in full effect!
Possible Fan-Edit: Murray not interested? Somebody should have put in a call to Lorenzo Music. That usually works…
Beethoven's Second (1993)
The Original: Charles Grodin discovers that life with a St. Bernard can be a mite trying in this undemanding family romp. Cute and fluffy, yes. Worthy of a sequel? Erm…
The Sequel: “Puppies can be messy, can’t they? Let’s make a movie about it!” So went the meeting that led to this particular brainwave. A prime example of a movie that seems to exist purely to justify its pun-tastic title.
Possible Fan-Edit: The two films are hardly distinguishable as it is, given that the dog-napping plot is a direct retread of the original’s, er, dog-napping plot.
Weekend At Bernie's 2 (1993)
The Original: A gleefully implausible comedy in which a pair of hotshot insurance brokers attempt to cover up the death of their boss, who they believe they’ve accidentally killed.
The Sequel: You’d think studio executives would have thought, “wow, I can’t believe we got away with that,” after the ludicrous events of the first film. Instead, they thought, “let’s se if we can push it even further.” Enter a corpse revived by voodoo, stage left…
Possible Fan-Edit: Boo to voodoo! We want the old corpse-on-a-string routine!
Scanner Cop (1994)
The Original: Scanners , An ickily splatter-happy sci-fi from master of the macabre, David Cronenberg. Everyone remembers the exploding head, but the whole thing is a creepily effective treat.
The Sequel: This bizarre attempt to turn the film into a franchise sees a member of the LAPD trying to use his telepathic abilities to track down a cop-killer. Inexplicably, Cronenberg himself has a screenwriter credit on this one!
Possible Fan-Edit: Why not bring some of the original’s themes of paranoia and mystery to bear, rather than just creating a cop with super-powers?
The Ring 2 (2005)
The Original: An American remake of the legendary J-Horror fright-fest. Not quite as eerie as the source material, but effective enough in its own right.
The Sequel: Instead of using a similar device in an entirely new story (a haunted email or text message, maybe?), this confusing sequel opts to continue the original tale, ripping open all manner of plot holes in the process. Gaaah!
Possible Fan-Edit: See our suggestions above. Creating a new legend might have worked. Screwing up the original? Not so much.
Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid (2004)
The Original: A starry but ultimately disappointing creature feature that pits Jennifer Lopez and pals against a dirty great snake.
The Sequel: No star names here, just a decidedly dopey plot (scientists head to Borneo in search of a flower that grants eternal life) and some more giant snakes. In case you were wondering, they’re the only things linking the two films…
Possible Fan-Edit: Despite what most sequel-makers seem to believe, less is sometimes more. One anaconda was menacing; several just dilute things.
Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
The Original: A supremely creepy found-footage horror, in which a trio of unknowns head off into the Maryland woods in order to film a documentary about the mythical Blair Witch.
The Sequel: The first film worked because not only did it arrive upon a wave of internet hype and clever marketing, it also boasted a scary central conceit. The sequel however, screams cash-in, with an unforgivably dull plot ditching the primal scares of the original in favour of guts and gore.
Possible Fan-Edit: The early scenes in which the furore created by the first film is explored via documentary style interviews, are great. More of that sort of thing, plus a return to the woods could have seen this one set fair.
Karate Kid Part 3 (1989)
The Original: A charming underdog story in which a young boy learns self confidence and self control through the teachings of a wise old master.
The Sequel: Having Ralph Macchio return is one thing, but having him struggle with the same old issues as a grown-up... call us cruel, but it's difficult to warm to the guy this time around!
Possible Fan-Edit: Johnny returns to kick seven shades out of whiny old Daniel.
Road House 2: Last Call (2006)
The Original: Patrick Swayze is on top form as legendary doorman Dalton, who is forced to renounce his non-violent ways when a local businessman begins to strangle the life out of his beloved town.
The Sequel: Jonathon Schaech stars as Dalton’s son, and guess what? He’s a doorman too! This is your run of the mill straight to DVD guff, but what’s weird is the choice of Road House . It seems a bizarre property to make a sequel to anyway, let alone one that rolled along some 17 years after the original!
Possible Fan-Edit: A Swayze cameo should have been obligatory. Although we can hardly blame him for wanting nowt to do with it…
