Useless Wii peripherals that will never improve your life

Though they're not that much stupider than the room-migration kit

(No seriously, we're not making this up. Ninty really thinks moving and reconnecting cables is $45 worth of problem)

So in celebration of this glorious day, we bring you five more Wii add-ons of equally vital, no more insulting functionality to (hopefully) look forward to. Please Nintendo. We'll never cope without them.

The Wii remote easy-access facilitator

Want to play with your Wii, but having trouble reaching the remote now that it's all the way down there? No problem. This dedicated, officially-licensed plinth will keep your controller at convenient hand-height at all times.

Warning: Plinth is too small and weak to store anything that isn't a Wii remote. Additional Wii remotes will require additional plinths.

The Wii remote 'charge anywhere' kit

Finally, an officialrechargable battery solution for the Wii! And one perfectly integrated with Nintendo's groundbreaking room-migration technology! For no more than the price of the console itself, you'll get five chargers, which can be scattered across all the rooms in your house. Wherever you migrate your Wii to, you'll instantly have the power to play!

The Wii mega-storage hard drive

The long-awaited solution to all of your high-capacity memory needs. All the storage you'll ever need in one box!

The Wii Fit long-distance rehydration device

Playing Wii Fit? Feeling the burn and in need of refreshment? Nearest drink trapped in that cup a whole six inches away from your face? What are you going to do!? Don't worry. You don't have to die of dehydration. Nintendo has you covered. This revolutionary new technology can transport fluids over short distances with only the minimum of effort from yourself. Phew! Crisis averted!

The post-room-migrationshow-Wii

We know what it's like. You've migrated your Wii, but now that the dust has settled from the great upheaval, your living room feels empty and devoid of life. Just like everyone's homes did before the Wii was launched. Well worry not. You don't need to go back to those dark, cold days before Nintendo saved family life. This empty Wii shell lets you experience the stylish aesthetic and almost all the full value of a real Wii while your actual machine is in another room.

Please note:Separate set of post-room-migration show-Wii cables needed in order to showoff show-Wii correctly,as well asan additionalshow-Wii room-migration kit if show-Wii is to be moved to another room.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.

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