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The Top 7... Games where you play as food

Food is great. It's tasty, satisfying and it stops us from dying. But the life-preserving talents of the world's scoffables aren't limited to simple nutrition. Oh no. Since the dawn of (videogame) time, food has been fighting, racing, rescuing and defending its way through quest upon quest, saving days and rescuing damsels all over the place without a single thought for its own use-by date.

And you thought it just sat there in the cupboard, idly waiting for its demise by your eager mouth? Then let us fill you in on the most notable sweet and savoury saviours of gaming.

After more than two decades of increasingly-curmudgeonly jadedness, we're still frequently boggled by the kind of nonsensical branding that publishers tend to think comprises a sure-fire gold license.

Batman makes sense. He's hard as granite-tipped diamond, cooler than a nitrogen cucumber, and has more awesome toys than Hamleys. M&M's on the other hand, are small pieces of chocolate. Not only is their single jaw-dropping super-power the ability to melt in your mouth, not in your hand, they can't do so much as even move, except from bag to mouth. Via your hand. Unsurprisingly, their games are a big fresh slice of poop pie, and none moreso than Kart Racing on the Wii and DS, a racer so sluggish that it seems designed almost entirely around that latter property of its protagonists.

 

It's more than he deserves. Seriously.


 

While Mario and Sonic were ruling the console-based 2D realm in the '90's, the neighbouring province of European home computer gaming bowed to the unquestioned leadership of Dizzy the egg. The thick-shelled platform adventurer romped triumphantly through countless games from Codemasters' (yes, they of GRID fame) old-school factory of digital joy, securing himself a permanent legendary status amongst misty-eyed C64 nerds.

He even achieved the semi-believable feat of managing  to pull off sampled speech on the humble Spectrum a couple of times. It sounded rubbish of course, but at the time it melted our minds.

Fried platform game heroes are the core of a nutritious breakfast. Go to work on a Dizzy.

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46 comments

  • RabidCabbage - April 27, 2009 3:49 p.m.

    Thanks for an amusing article. I'm actually hungry now...
  • AyKKon - April 27, 2009 4:26 p.m.

    Ha ha ha! Very funny! And....oh! First.... post by me in this amazing site!
  • helix92 - April 27, 2009 5:05 p.m.

    Ha Ha. Awsome article. And beans for breakfast is great. But this article has made me hungry. I want a sandwich know
  • Unoriginal - April 27, 2009 6:04 p.m.

    I think I'm gonna go grab me a sandwich now.
  • WonsAuto - April 27, 2009 9:28 p.m.

    You guys are really reaching today, but you're pulling it off! Class article. ReCAPTCHA: ripeness $3.25 Lol, that's appropriate for the article.
  • Lord_Muboblis - April 27, 2009 10:12 p.m.

    Technically, any game where you play as an animal would be on this list.
  • icanhazgames - April 28, 2009 12:40 a.m.

    Mmmmmmmm toad on a stick
  • ranzatsu - April 28, 2009 3:19 a.m.

    I didn't notice the tofu thing in Resi 2...
  • iKOemos - April 28, 2009 4:05 a.m.

    One day I'll catch my M&M's Go-Karting in my cupboard...
  • TreehouseGamer - April 28, 2009 4:52 a.m.

    Note that Alfred the Chicken is being violated by a beer can.
  • pogo - April 28, 2009 6:36 p.m.

    my sister almost got MnM racing for the wii
  • waffledragon33 - April 28, 2009 7:54 p.m.

    me hungry
  • PhantomDave - April 29, 2009 2:03 a.m.

    Oh my god...how could they not have listed Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom for the NES? LOL http://tinyurl.com/6yrr47
  • Sash - April 29, 2009 7:48 a.m.

    "Teh_Ty - 6 hours 41 minutes ago Should have mentioned yhatzee in the dizzy adventure game." I was thinking that when I saw it lol
  • AuthorityFigure - April 29, 2009 10:01 a.m.

    That was a nice bite-sized article.
  • nik41507 - May 2, 2009 2 a.m.

    $@TH!!!!!!!!!!
  • zerolegends - May 23, 2009 4:34 a.m.

    Mmmm Ninja bread man reCAPTCHA:own trikes? No i do not.
  • drprofessor - April 27, 2009 4:59 p.m.

    Great article. What about the adventures of cookies & cream? Sounhds like food and rabbits are delicious. WIN/WIN
  • MacGyver1138 - April 27, 2009 5:01 p.m.

    You Brits and your food combinations! Pardon my xenophobia, but beans for breakfast?
  • Tomsta666 - April 27, 2009 5:25 p.m.

    Dizzy and Alfred Chicken, nostalgia!! It probably would of made me hungry but I just ate :D

Showing 1-20 of 46 comments

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