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The 10 worst Rock Band performances

Rock Band can make anyone feel like a rock star, but feeling and being are generally separated by millions of dollars, hordes of fans, and a voice that wouldn't pass as a torture device. Now and then we're absolutely floored by the skills of Rock Band players, but for every “Rock Band EXPERT *5 StArS*!!!  OMG!” video on YouTube there are ten slightly less savory performances to watch. And by "slightly," we mean that upon hearing our selection, Simon Cowell's man breasts detached from his chest and walked out of the room (true story).

Some think they can actually sing, some don't care if they can't. Either way, they’re screeching out their favorite tunes with gusto, and we can’t fault them for that (but we can laugh, and feel a little better about our own vocal disasters).

 


10. Dad sings Still Alive

Convincing "willing to do whatever you want as long as it involves sitting down" dads to play videogames is a popular pastime for today's youth, and this particularly condescending spawn has apparently made it his prime hobby, capturing eight videos of his father’s vocal stylings.

For the very best part, skip to 2:40: "Maaaybe Black Mesaaaaah… that was a joke HA HA HA HA fat chaaance."

BONUS! Dad sings Roxanne

Condescending son strikes again! “Yes, you kicked the controller… please, don’t move your feet, I’m begging you.”

 


9. Yep, another Dad singing!

This dad attempts to poke fun at his out-of-touchness by asking the question that TV parents have been asking since the invention of the sitcom: "How do you guys listen to this stuff?" Dad fails to realize that the clacking of the instruments and his piercing screeches are not actually part of the song.

 


8. Death Klock - Singing at 0:44

At first we thought this experimental low-light band was referencing Dethklok – the fictional band featured in Adult Swim’s Metalocalypse. That would be great, but it seems more likely that their singer is simply unable to control the tone and volume of his voice.

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17 comments

  • adrenaguy - October 24, 2008 10:41 p.m.

    THIRD DEGREE FAIL NUMBER 10! ah, man that was so funny, i laughed out loud at which point and i have woken my brother, so retarded! why do celebrities have have absolutely no clue when it comes to normal people stuff thats as simple as press a button?!
  • MyGameName - October 6, 2008 2:17 a.m.

    NO.10 epic fail!!!!
  • georgeguy - October 3, 2008 9:29 p.m.

    great artical :)
  • Schizo - October 3, 2008 5:02 p.m.

    Awesome my ears are bleeding! :D ...that's normal right?
  • Tasty_Pasta - October 3, 2008 3:59 p.m.

    Lol, "Why is that red light on" "I, I really don't know..."
  • Squidmonk3j - October 3, 2008 1:58 p.m.

    haha , first one :S Realy great article
  • brothir - October 3, 2008 9:41 a.m.

    This article sums pretty much up why I'm playing Guitar Hero and not Rock Band.
  • silverXdragon95 - October 3, 2008 12:01 a.m.

    Dead or alive it berns my eres O_o X_X aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...... xD
  • FancyRat - October 2, 2008 11:42 p.m.

    At least #1 isn't as bad as Miyamoto and friends.
  • asdfer - October 2, 2008 9:41 p.m.

    ha. great article
  • Amnesiac - October 2, 2008 7:23 p.m.

    Loved the guy singing Bon Jovi. "Deader Aliiiiiive!!"
  • grover117 - October 2, 2008 4:49 p.m.

    HAHA Awesome!
  • shadowless92 - October 4, 2008 12:36 p.m.

    no1 and i mean no1!! should ever and i mean ever!! ask or tell there dad to play rockband its just wrong in so many ways lol lovin the vids although the kid in vids 1 and 2 bit of a tw*t lol
  • ELpork - October 3, 2008 11:23 a.m.

    Love the squeeky kid on dead or alive.
  • thereaper52 - October 3, 2008 1:11 a.m.

    the end sequence is great dead or aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvveeee!
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - October 2, 2008 11:44 p.m.

    @FancyRat: No argument here.
  • drprofessor - October 2, 2008 11:15 p.m.

    like omfg those girls are like so sick or something. god i hate sk8rs, emos, and jailbait. great article.

Showing 1-17 of 17 comments

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