Slow news day leads to Portal 2 adoption “controversy”

A mildly derisive segment of the script for Portal 2 is at the center of a media firestorm that looks to dominate news cycles in the Charlotte, NC area for the foreseeable future. The game, which features the player character being gently chided by the game's villains for being adopted, has reporters straining their “concerned and outraged” voices as they report on the inappropriateness of antagonists holding moderately contentious views.

“If you're an adopted parent, it's literally the worst thing you could have possibly heard,” says a visibly mildly-perturbed Neil Stapel, Charlotte resident. Stapel, who was playing the game with his adopted Chinese daughter when the Steven Merchant character called the protagonist “Fatty fatty no parents,” says his daughter still likes the game and is, um, “pretending” not to have been affected by the remarks.

Two things come across in this report: that Neil Stapel is, kidding aside, a stand-up guy who loves his daughter very much and is doing a great job of raising her honestly and responsibly (if imparting a dangerous tendency to misuse the word “literally”); and that wow, there is nothing going on in North Carolina this week.

“We did contact Sony... they told us to contact Valve, who actually created the game. We've not heard back from them,” concludes the report: “They're obviously passing the buck.” We're now abandoning serious journalism for another year, because WBTV Charlotte has that Pulitzer in the bag.

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  • ChaoDer - August 12, 2011 10:25 a.m.

    Fucking hell! I'm adopted and this is no big deal! Main characters a dick, expect him to act like one.
  • CaseD - May 23, 2011 1 p.m.

    She's "pretending" not to be affected? That's brilliant.
  • fappybirthday - May 22, 2011 11:18 p.m.

    Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ This is the shit that makes me lose faith in humanity.
  • SecretGingerWizard - May 20, 2011 8 p.m.

    The only good thing I got out of this is "Rated E for everyone (Except for orphans)"
  • JenosIdanian - May 20, 2011 11:51 a.m.

    As someone who actually is adopted, I find this utterly ridiculous.
  • Kermit1970 - May 20, 2011 9:49 a.m.

    I'm adopted and I must say I was deeply offended by this line in the game. So much so, that I've now hired a hitman called Agent 47 to wipe out all of the Valve staff. recaptcha vairid studies. Recaptcha can't spell varied
  • Corvon - May 20, 2011 9:33 a.m.

    Rated E for everyone except morons srsly I'm amazed at how people jump the gun instead of looking into the matter before doing so another thing is: no expert (from the industry or any gamer who played both portal one and 2) to explain it? and the lack of context? im not even touching that one.
  • playoldgames - May 20, 2011 9:33 a.m.

    I was adopted at a very young age, and I can't even begin to explain the enormity of the crap that I did not give about all the supposed negative opinions of adoption in Portal 2. If anything, I thought they were hilarious.
  • GrandMoffBubbles - May 20, 2011 9:14 a.m.

    maybe the boys crosstown at Epic can go over and knock some sense into those lily livered dimwits. Seriously? Slow news day is an understatement!
  • majorlynch - May 20, 2011 9:05 a.m.

    I hate the American media, anything stronger then pie in the face humour and its too "aggressive". Although I can understand someone being surprised by this, I'm disgusted that someone is putting their daughter through media attention to "protect her". Whats next? Knock knock jokes promoting violence?
  • Zeb364 - May 20, 2011 8:07 a.m.

    I love how the daughter couldn't have cared less and was only concerned with solving Valve's ingeniuosly crafted puzzles but that somehow led the dad to believe that she was lying and hiding her obvious pain :P. By the way, E+10 doesn't mean Everyone. It's Everyone 10 and older (which is why the comment didn't bother her, she is 10). Oh, and Sony has much bigger problems to deal with right now. They don't have time to dick around with some bullshit CBS affiliate out of North Carolina attacking an old scapegoat to try drum up some ratings.
  • MisterFish - May 20, 2011 6:44 a.m.

    I haven't actually seen Portal 2 "billed as an educational children's game" anywhere. Sure it's a puzzle game and may improve problem solving skills, but it was never marketed as such.
  • quincytheodore - May 20, 2011 6:31 a.m.

    I thought it would hurt more to fat people, but I wrote this to my friend on facebook, he didn't seem to mind. -------- Hey, you look good on your profile pic, have you been working out? I mean you must put 50kg of fat since we last met, you are in best shape of your life. How did you do it on such short time? Most people would die because cholesterol, heart attack, suffocation of fat, but you're still alive, that's awesome and you're still able to walk either. Respect. Seriously, I want to know. I am eating everything, but I stay lean and slender, totally the opposite of you. I've seen many people who want to be fat, but failed miserably, you just pulled it off like it's your god given talent to be effortlessly fat. I bet people stop and stare when you walk, they are mesmerized by your superior physique and don't forget the wobbling sound effect you make when you walk, like giant jelly being slapped in slow motion by a sumo wrestler, that's double massive ripples, but yours is even louder than that. -------- Seriously, he didn't even flinch. How sensitive can one be if they are offended by Portal 2? Or am I the weird one here? Don't hate me~~.
  • faceofmonkey - May 20, 2011 6:18 a.m.

    "It's literally the worst thing they could have heard." How about: your kid's dead. Sorry.
  • The_Deebo - May 20, 2011 5:13 a.m.

    I guess from now on we'll have to deal with "Adoption Jokes" listed under the ESRB rating
  • Jedipimp0712 - May 20, 2011 4:23 a.m.

    seems like they are trying to create a ruse that videogames are terrible. grow the fuck up you ass hats. the dumb ass father probably just wanted to be on the news because his life is so mundane.
  • DeEss - May 20, 2011 3:26 a.m.

    "It's a villain. Did you expect loving support from them?" That's all they had to say.
  • Chakan - May 20, 2011 2:48 a.m.

    What a load of crap. I watched this newscast while getting ready for work and nearly vomited in my mouth. I'm so sick of the news trash talking video games and the people that play them. Granted, Portal 2 is rated "E", but seriously... can any developer on the planet create a game that won't piss off somebody? Parents need to be proactive when it comes to games anyhow. Just because a game has an innocent appearance and a safe rating, doesn't mean the game is for everyone. I hardly doubt this child is scarred for life.
  • SANCHEZZZ - May 20, 2011 2:36 a.m.

    *SUPER FREAKING FACEPALM* I am disappointed. GlaDOs even backed Chell up in that part! Honestly, Wheatly's Orphan joke wasn't as bad as GlaDOs in the earlier part of the game! Nether were even ment to be taken into offence in the first place, gosh!
  • deemerritt - May 20, 2011 2:09 a.m.

    Charlotte is a wonderful city just dont watch our local news

Showing 1-20 of 123 comments

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