A mildly derisive segment of the script for Portal 2 is at the center of a media firestorm that looks to dominate news cycles in the Charlotte, NC area for the foreseeable future. The game, which features the player character being gently chided by the game's villains for being adopted, has reporters straining their “concerned and outraged” voices as they report on the inappropriateness of antagonists holding moderately contentious views.
“If you're an adopted parent, it's literally the worst thing you could have possibly heard,” says a visibly mildly-perturbed Neil Stapel, Charlotte resident. Stapel, who was playing the game with his adopted Chinese daughter when the Steven Merchant character called the protagonist “Fatty fatty no parents,” says his daughter still likes the game and is, um, “pretending” not to have been affected by the remarks.
Two things come across in this report: that Neil Stapel is, kidding aside, a stand-up guy who loves his daughter very much and is doing a great job of raising her honestly and responsibly (if imparting a dangerous tendency to misuse the word “literally”); and that wow, there is nothing going on in North Carolina this week.
“We did contact Sony... they told us to contact Valve, who actually created the game. We've not heard back from them,” concludes the report: “They're obviously passing the buck.” We're now abandoning serious journalism for another year, because WBTV Charlotte has that Pulitzer in the bag.
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