See the Dragon Quest IX enemies that are armed with sex toys

Sometimes things in games accidentallyresemble things they aren't meant to. Like the weapons being wielded by the Gum Shield enemies I recently encountered in Dragon Quest IX. Obviously they're meant to be armed with swords. But my eyes don't see them as swords. My eyes see them as big red dildos.

And they look even more wrong when you see them in motion:

Imagine meeting these bulbous-ended batons in a dark alley and having them waved belligerently in your general direction. Terrifying. Just looking at them made my character's eyes water. Idecided to flee from the fight and spent the next hour searchingin vain for a puff-puff club where my party could calmtheir nerves.

July 26, 2010

Matt Cundy
I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.