Is your favorite Pokmon is an inanimate object? Its more likely than you think!
Living in the world of Pokmon has got to be confusing. They're everywhere, and everyone talks about them all the time. But besides the general confusion that comes with living in a world full of godlike creatures, there's also the whole problem of knowing what is--and isn't--a sentient monster. Taking out thew trash? Look out! It's actually a Pokmon! Eating an ice cream cone? Stop! Don't bite into that Pokmon! How horrifying.
How do you tell what's a living creature and what isn't? Well, luckily, we have you covered. Instead of second-guessing yourself every time you take a bite of delicious cotton candy, you can just check here to see if the puff of fluff you're about to devour might bite back. We've made that easy for you with this gallery of inanimate objects posing as Pokmon.
Just in case you ever needed a living, breathing sarcophagus to join you on your journey, Cofagrigus will take care of you. If you should ever fall in battle, your Cofagrigus can swaddle you in a tremendously creepy fashion either in its hollow body or with its noodle-like appendages. You'll be fighting fit in no time! Just look at those glowing red eyes. They dont remind you of nightmares at all, do they? They dont make us want to run away screaming in terror, either. Not even the time we went to the museum and Cofagrigus was lying in wait with its arms at its sides pretending to be an old relic. Really, not terrifying at all.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Chingling all the way! That's basically what Chingling is, though. A bell. You could perhaps annoy your opponents by shaking this crazy little creature to death, but it might not do much damage. Perhaps you could attach it to your favorite Persian's collar, as that seems to be all the use that it has. This inanimate object doesn't ring our bell so much as makes us wonder what it could have been instead of a glorified decoration.
How were the Easter Island heads built and why? Got a Nosepass? Let's ask it! But wait! Why would there ever be one of those heads up and running around? Why would it be a Pokmon? Are we deciding to retcon human history and transplant one of these weirdos for the famous statues instead? We are? Well, thats more than a little bizarre, kind of like this pocket monster. It looks a little stuck up, doesnt it? What with its nose all up in the air, youd think its too good for this list. At least youll never be lost if you take stock in its magnetic nose, which always points north.
Ever thrown your keys into a Pokmon battle because you thought you were throwing Klefki instead? Yeah, weve all made that mistake. Its easy to do and all, especially if youve shoved Klefkis fragile body into the ignition of your car. Yes, this adorable little keyring is actually a living, breathing creature that you can recruit to fight against other trainers and gym leaders. No, it doesnt make much sense--but then again, none of the other Pokmon on this list really do.
The last time we checked, a sword was a weapon. There are no weapons in dogfig--er, Pokmon fights. Honedge defies all convention by literally being a weapon--a sword, at that. Couldnt you send one of your team members into battle with a rollicking battle cry waving this bad boy around? Would that be considered a tag team or would it be cheating? How do these things even breed? Is it just an enchanted sword? The possibilities boggle the mind.
It's easy to pick on this cute vanilla cone, so... we're going to. Incessantly. Like Action League Nows Meltman and his astonishing power to melt, Vanillite captivates its foes by looking delicious and dripping all over the place. Excellent. Talk about a sticky situation.
If your greatest fear is an illuminated chandelier crashing into you from its cozy perch on the ceiling, then just dont look at Chandelure. It may look surprisingly disarming, but its still a fixture. It might be able to grab you with those weird, coiled arms, but its still pretty dangerous somehow. Its dead-eyed stare isnt totally freaky at all, either. They say those who are burned in its flames are doomed to wander forever. Not sure its worth hanging this thing in your home to find out if thats true.
How dangerous can a snowflake really be? Cryogenal looks scary enough, but its ice, after all. It can pack a punch with its moveset for sure, but considering the fact that its just a glorified bit of precipitation, its not so impressive as an ice dragon or a legendary monster. Suppose thats not saying much anyway though, seeing as there are also Pokmon that resemble clouds and whatnot. Its just hard to look at this guy and be intimidated in any way.
This is the most sinister-looking moon weve seen since Majoras Mask. Doesnt it have a job to be doing up in the night sky? And whats up with that lone red eye? Its expressionless, staring into the void of your soul, like the Draag creatures from Fantastic Planet. The fact that theres a sun-themed Pokmon to balance out Lunatone doesnt even make this guy less creepy. Lets talk again about the fact that this is a literal crescent moon.
If youre not careful, a squawling child will carry your Drifloon away with them, since this is a glorified balloon. Perhaps the yellow patch is to keep the air in, and the heart-shaped handles are to make sure you can skip along with your pretty purple prize while on your way to catching a monster that doesnt look as though it might deflate during the very first scuffle it gets in.
Ever buy cotton candy at the carnival? It probably doesnt look like a derpy pink cloud, does it? Swirlix definitely does, complete with a little handle--at least, we think thats a handle. It might be competent if it didnt look like it wanted to slurp itself up instead of assault its enemies. Its probably good for hugs, but we wouldnt expect much else out of it, even after its evolved into its similarly foody final form.
Klink is a pair of gears with conveniently personable faces that seem to have taken considerable damage. They look like theyre perpetually in pain, probably from grinding into each other. How do they stay attached? Do they keep turning at all times? The simple fact that Klink exists is a paradox in itself, but why must each gear be missing an eye as well? Strange.
Trubbish is exactly what you think it is: a full bag of trash, with what appears to be rips in its sides, heaping with garbage. The fact that it somehow has a mouth and what look like ears doesnt make it any more attractive, but those features do make you want to pick it up and give it a hug. You can slap eyes and a gaping maw on anything and give it a cute name, but sometimes you just cant escape the fact that youre basically working with refuse. Except when youre playing Pokmon.
Theres unimaginative, theres lazy, and then theres Cottonee. Cottonee is a cotton plant. Its actually a monster you might be able to spin into a shirt or an overpriced dress. You probably wouldnt want to (and it would be inhumane) but that might end up being its ultimate destiny. Considering youll probably use it in and out of battle, does that make you feel like a horrible person? Because it definitely should.
Gotta see 'em all!
Youve had a sampling of what the world of Pokmon has to offer by way of sentient beings in the form of everyday objects and items. Turns out, theres a lot of them--and we didnt even cover each evolutionary form! As the generations roll out, you can count on there being wackier and even more out there monsters. Well keep buying them, and well keep making fun of them, too. Forget battling, collecting, and trading--isnt that what theyre really there for?
And if you're looking for more, check out top 7 most disturbing things about the Pokemon universe and the most disturbing Pokemon.