More like Steam STALE, right?
IT'S THE MOOOOST, WONDERFULLL TIIIIME, OF THE YEARRRRRR. Nothing fills gamers' hearts with seasonal cheer like the annual Summer Steam Sale, a time for savings and gift-giving galore. And yet, amidst all the gaiety and good tidings, there is a dark side to all that glorious PC gaming. What started as winter revelry somehow crept its way into spring, summer, and fall, with Steam sales for seemingly every season. You find yourself refusing to buy any game for more than the price of a sandwich. The mere mention of Valve makes your wallet defecate pennies in pure fear. It's safe to assume that Gabe Newell watches you while you sleep.
We were raised not to look gift horses in the mouth, or complain about such a joyous time of thriftiness. And yet, even something as magical as a Steam sale has its faults--and by golly, we have every right to complain about our little gripes. Sure, you may think we're a bunch of self-entitled brats, but go through this list and try telling us that not one of these has ever annoyed you. Good luck, because that's impossible.
Being incredibly excited to buy a game before discovering that you already own (and installed) it
Remembering that you did the same thing, with the same game, during the last Steam sale
Realizing you now own more games than any normal human being can play in a single lifetime
When you get faked out because the price reduction isn't actually displaying (and yes, this pretty much only happens because we're zealously refreshing the page)
Thinking about how much money Gabe Newell just made in the past 30 seconds
Waiting on this screen
only to land here
When you can't download your new purchase because Valve's servers are getting absolutely hammered
Thinking, if only for a moment, about how much money these developers would've been making if everyone was actually paying full price for their game
When you see the same game on sale for the 50th freaking time
Really though, every person on Steam either owns Terraria or they don't intend to; stop slashing the price
When you're on vacation with no Internet access and the game you've wanted for months goes on sale
When your vote lost the community-pick Flash Sale, even though you really, really wanted it
When you slept through an amazing Flash Sale
When you see an amazing deal but you imagine how much cheaper the price will be during the NEXT sale
You just bought something you KNOW you will NEVER, EVER play, and you have no idea what compelled you to do so
You bought a game when it was on sale, but none of your friends did--and now it looks like you'll be playing alone
When your console-owning friends don't care about the Steam sale, and it makes you question your friendships
Looking at your broken, battered wallet when it's all over
Thinking about how much money you could've saved if the Steam sale had existed during your entire lifetime, like it will for some youngsters
Realizing that if Valve ever goes out of business, you will literally have NOTHING to show for all the thrifty bargains you bought
When you realize that you're living life as little more than a series of meaningless events spaced out between Steam sales
So you see, nothing--not even the glory that is a Steam sale--is totally perfect. And yes, though we still worship our Gaben shrine every night before bed, even one so omnipotent as he can be fallible. Think we're crazy, self-entitled, spoiled brats? Scold us in the comments, and have a happy holiday!