Guns that don’t shoot bullets

“Guns don’t kill people, bullets do.” But do they have to? Not at all, and in fact, this is all the destructive power you’re going to get out of shooting bullets:

Pretty lame, but there’s more than one way to skin a calf: sharks, saws, lightning, ninja stars, things that are heavy, beams from satellites, dirty syringes, presumably clean syringes, black holes, hot lava, chemicals, harpoons, being too small, needles, cows, freezing, circular saw blades, engineering equipment, growing too fast, discarded cinderblocks and explosive discs are just a few examples of objects and effects you could be propelling from a firearm if our culture wasn’t so fixated with bullets and realistic physics. That’s why we’re glad that there are plenty of games that shirk society’s conformity to various hunting associations, the NRA and people for the safe handling of firearms’s cult of normalcy.

One of the most frequently emulated weapons ever, Half-life’s gravity gun revolutionized what we thought of as ammo. Before we were looking for tiny boxes labeled “shotgun shells” and “crossbow bolts,” but because of the fictional physicists behind this weapon’s development, we can now pick up paint cans, road signs, beer bottles, dead guys, rocks, kitchen sinks… whatever you want can be used as a lethal projectile. Shoot fish at your enemies with this gun.

As the name suggests, the black hole bomb shoots a localized black hole, which sucks in any nearby enemies and compacts them into an infinitely dense tiny space. Then, before sciencing out of control, the hole closes itself, derailing chain-reaction of greater and greater sucking that would quickly destroy the entire level. And then the galaxy.

A gun that shows up for only a single mission in Killzone 2, the electricity gun arcs auto-targeting bolts of lightning into your enemies, dealing extremely high damage and making it the most powerful gun in the Killzone universe. It holds an electric charge in the glowing bottles on the left side of the sidearm and can quickly recharge the massive amount of power it uses by turning a handle on the outside of the weapon, which generates an electrical charge by rubbing two pieces of carpet together. What you don’t see is how it causes its wielder’s hair to embarrassingly stand straight up. 

One of the most dangerous species of shark, the Land Shark is able to burrow through the earth and attack prey on solid ground as well as in the ocean. Technically, though, being a saltwater shark, it can’t survive in freshwater lakes and streams. Armed and Dangerous is the first of what will surely be many games that combine one of nature’s most powerful weapons (the aforementioned Land Shark) with one of technology’s most powerful weapons (a gun), creating the deadly Land Shark Gun.

Anything you point this gun at will be highlighted by a very helpful red beam of light, like one of those laser pointers you might use to show your buddy what you’d like him to shoot at with his projectile-firing weapon or perhaps to show your cat where there’s a bug you’d like him to eat. However, if you’re above ground and it’s a clear day and the satellite hasn’t moved out of position, the red indicator eventually calls down a beam of burning hotness from the sky, bright enough to tear a hole through even the rockiest of Berserkers in Gears of War 2.

A gun capable of firing both orange and blue – the folks at Aperture science are quickly making scientific bounds through the color spectrum – and these colors create a “doorway” through a “surface” in “three-dimensional space.” Hey, we don’t know what we’re talking about either.

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  • Tashdacat - December 3, 2012 2:33 p.m.

    A whole article on weird guns, and NO mention of the weird guns in the Destroy All Humans! series. Shame on you Gamesradar, shame on you.
  • cringedragon - May 12, 2011 6 p.m.

    oooooooohhh... fail on GR's part... That is the mortar, not the hammer of dawn!! If you guys are going to post something, make sure you have correct knowledge of the game first!
  • Alfredhitchshot23 - May 29, 2010 6:11 p.m.

    Hey remember that 55 Most Gracious Headshots video, you could have that gun that rips into your head and then explodes it?
  • FanofSaiyan - December 7, 2009 4:18 a.m.

    There are way too many guns on Ratchet & Clank to list on this forum. Though I don't know about the Lava Gun as my choice, I'd go with the Suck Cannon or Agents of Doom.
  • NottaFanboY - August 21, 2009 7:01 p.m.

    The Fusion gun from Red Faction! Loved the article!
  • AA95mp - August 4, 2009 2:29 p.m.

    What About The Goo Gun In Unreal Tournament?
  • jakery22 - August 4, 2009 8:13 a.m.

    I think nearly all the guns in ratchet and clank don't fire bullets.My favourite gun that doesn't fire bullets has to be the razor from unreal. That gun was awesome, especially when you got a headshot with one. :D. reCAPTCHA : Percy Korea
  • D3TH5150 - May 13, 2009 2:24 a.m.

    hammer of dawn awesome but thats a picture of a mortor. and that cow in the gravity gun article should be sawed in half
  • GamesRadarPaulRyan - May 12, 2009 6:14 p.m.

    Re: Everyone in the whole world The Cerebral Bore is not a gun
  • infestedandy - May 10, 2009 7:38 p.m.

    Awesome article, but there's no Berserkers in Gears 2 Paul!
  • jimony criket - May 10, 2009 8:39 a.m.

    really funny but you forget the injector from time splitters future perfect
  • MOOMAN - May 9, 2009 9:03 p.m.

    wait, shouldn't the cow be like deep fried for the lightning thing? or at least a cheeseburger!
  • JoeMasturbaby - May 8, 2009 6:03 p.m.

    The Reaper - Perfect Dark 64 Mauler - Perfect Dark 64 Fletch Gun - Turok Evolution i was actually expecting the first one.
  • deathrebellion - May 8, 2009 5:20 p.m.

    Cow Launcher Buahaahahahahah!!!!!!! reCaptchia : stop spam read books
  • chuck17j17j - May 8, 2009 2:08 a.m.

    OMg teh best one is in Time Splitters futre Perfect. The injection gun. after 2-3 hit the enemy explodes in a huge mess of blood and gore
  • aarontrippedout - May 7, 2009 8:40 p.m.

    Half of the Stuff from the Original Earth Worm Jim should be on here. (the bubble gun from part two as well)
  • Demonflare - May 7, 2009 8:28 p.m.

    Hahahaha! Awsome article! ;)
  • Theonik - May 7, 2009 7:04 p.m.

    Come on no R.Y.N.O.(Rip You a New One) from Ratchet&Clank that thing can kill an entire boss in 10 seconds and can be used for the entire second play through.
  • alfonso.hdez - May 7, 2009 3:01 p.m.

    Hey! Am I the only one who remembers MDK and MDK2? cmon! atomic toaster and the freakin' sniper helmet! btw reCAPTCHA: Michael idol
  • revrock - May 7, 2009 5:04 a.m.

    the auger in Resistance is one of my faves too... great article