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Gaming's most absurdly oversized limbs

Abnormally sized limbs that are sort of funny to look at: a premise that only minutes of arduous brainstorming could have birthed. Can I actually fashion a coherent article with a subject weaker than the plot of a Family Matters episode? Carl Winslow would believe in me, and it isn’t as if it hasn’t worked for us in the past. Enjoy, and be sure to come back next week for “100 slices of bacon that look like Mario.” Just kidding, that idea is ridiculous. Bacon looks like Sonic, not Mario. On with the daftness!


When considering commonalities amongst people of African descent, do you think to yourself, “Hmm, dark skin and… giant arms. Huge, giant, bulging, unnaturally massive arms”? Probably not, but apparently game designers do. I'm not the only one who has noticed this… right? Granted, it’s totally possible to have muscles as large as these in reality, it’s just really grotesque.


Above: “Can't stop the Train, baby! No really, I actually stuffed a commuter train under my arm skin. It’s infected. I’m dying.”


Above: 50 Cent as he appears in Blood on the Sand, and the real 50 Cent, whose arms aren’t filled with silly putty


Above: Balrog’s arms are a bit less absurd than the others, but still, you could build a gym for slightly smaller bodybuilders on his shoulders, and he wouldn’t even notice

I'm not implying that every oversized game bicep belongs to a black character - it just seems like a thing. Men and women of all races and nationalities have been cursed with muscles that grow like malignant tumors. If you're looking for the absolute most absurd arms, however, they're generally attached to things that aren't even alive.


Above: Now these are arms – that bloody, necrotic bulge on his right limb is bigger than both of Cole's puny noodles combined


Early 3D arms generally look like overstuffed sausage links. They also have a tendency to arc out from the torso like Slinkys, making it appear as if every character is trying to scare a mountain lion away by "looking bigger" than it.


Above: Mega Man doing his best impression of the letter ‘M’


Above: “Just look at me – there’s a giant black slug on my eyeball and my arms are made of children’s pool floaties – what the hell guys?”


Above: “Okay, okay, so our arms are made of straightened coat hangers and rolled up socks. That’s really weird, but we’ve just gotta get past it and come up with a plan.”

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59 comments

  • xFnKxTaLeNtx - February 25, 2009 7:03 p.m.

    First! good feature.
  • zer0hvk - February 25, 2009 7:23 p.m.

    great article, wtf's up with Indiana Jones' arms??? Poor guy
  • lucashintz - February 25, 2009 7:26 p.m.

    Suprisingly good article! Didnt think you could pull it off.
  • nguy123 - February 25, 2009 8:20 p.m.

    Great article. Surprised nothing from super smash bros got in here-notice how whenever you smash attack your limbs get like 40 times their normal size? Recaptcha-Shrimp gunning
  • Unoriginal - February 25, 2009 10:23 p.m.

    That Indy pic is hillarious, and I mean that in a "laughed untill my stomach hurts" kinda way. Great Article.
  • animeman - February 25, 2009 11:24 p.m.

    I ment hands not ands.
  • Pyro240 - February 25, 2009 11:32 p.m.

    I can safely say I've played that Megaman game before. It was horrible.
  • Jacob816 - February 26, 2009 12:12 a.m.

    Ooh, Tyler has a new pic. ... I'd fuck him.
  • mrgameandwatch - February 26, 2009 12:56 a.m.

    i luv gears of war add me
  • NelosAngelos - February 26, 2009 1:04 a.m.

    Shows how badly older games have aged....eeeeh. And why does every single black guy I see in games have to have arms that could uproot a fully grown redwood and chuck it across the Atlantic? I got a black friend and he's skinnier than a stick.
  • Romination - February 26, 2009 1:29 a.m.

    i was going to suggest giant chins, too, but i know you're saving those for their own article of nothing but gigantic game chins. recaptcha: trimmed holy. I don't know why that's so intriguing...
  • Coolbeans69 - February 26, 2009 2:15 a.m.

    My friends noticed the thigh thing and we started calling them "thunder thighs". It's a pretty good inside joke now
  • climbing wolf - February 26, 2009 2:17 a.m.

    A PUPPY!
  • nitrocole - February 26, 2009 3:27 a.m.

    Wow some of these guys are messed up!
  • garnsr - February 26, 2009 4:29 a.m.

    What about the huge feet in games like Landstalker?
  • GoldenMe - February 26, 2009 4:36 a.m.

    I played Legend of Legaia (Love the combat system) And I have to say, I don't remember the shape of whatever his name's torso. Scary stuff. And the character models looked kickass for a Ps1 game when they're batteling. (Red hed was smoking hot during the time.) Great article GR.
  • purpleshirt - February 26, 2009 1 p.m.

    just so you guys know when you go to the stoked page on this site it says its coming out 01/20/2009. im pretty sure it did not come out then. maybe you should update it. Actually upon reading this comment I kinda come off sounding like a cunt. I wasn't trying to be a douche I just hate having to go to ign to find out the release date of a game. I like this site better...
  • Clownsarescary - February 26, 2009 1:13 p.m.

    @ xFnKxTaLeNtx Most. Generic. Comment. EVER.
  • MoonPig - February 26, 2009 6:43 p.m.

    Am i the only 1 who noticed that when u grab something moving upwards on LBP, ur arms stretch to like twice their normal length.
  • WayByWind - February 26, 2009 8:49 p.m.

    what, no Cloud?

Showing 1-20 of 59 comments

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