Abnormally sized limbs that are sort of funny to look at: a premise that only minutes of arduous brainstorming could have birthed. Can I actually fashion a coherent article with a subject weaker than the plot of a Family Matters episode? Carl Winslow would believe in me, and it isn’t as if it hasn’t worked for us in the past. Enjoy, and be sure to come back next week for “100 slices of bacon that look like Mario.” Just kidding, that idea is ridiculous. Bacon looks like Sonic, not Mario. On with the daftness!
When considering commonalities amongst people of African descent, do you think to yourself, “Hmm, dark skin and… giant arms. Huge, giant, bulging, unnaturally massive arms”? Probably not, but apparently game designers do. I'm not the only one who has noticed this… right? Granted, it’s totally possible to have muscles as large as these in reality, it’s just really grotesque.
Above: “Can't stop the Train, baby! No really, I actually stuffed a commuter train under my arm skin. It’s infected. I’m dying.”
Above: 50 Cent as he appears in Blood on the Sand, and the real 50 Cent, whose arms aren’t filled with silly putty
Above: Balrog’s arms are a bit less absurd than the others, but still, you could build a gym for slightly smaller bodybuilders on his shoulders, and he wouldn’t even notice
I'm not implying that every oversized game bicep belongs to a black character - it just seems like a thing. Men and women of all races and nationalities have been cursed with muscles that grow like malignant tumors. If you're looking for the absolute most absurd arms, however, they're generally attached to things that aren't even alive.
Above: Now these are arms – that bloody, necrotic bulge on his right limb is bigger than both of Cole's puny noodles combined
Early 3D arms generally look like overstuffed sausage links. They also have a tendency to arc out from the torso like Slinkys, making it appear as if every character is trying to scare a mountain lion away by "looking bigger" than it.
Above: Mega Man doing his best impression of the letter ‘M’
Above: “Just look at me – there’s a giant black slug on my eyeball and my arms are made of children’s pool floaties – what the hell guys?”
Above: “Okay, okay, so our arms are made of straightened coat hangers and rolled up socks. That’s really weird, but we’ve just gotta get past it and come up with a plan.”