With rumors running hot that Nintendo’s new console will utilize a more traditional controller, we assumed Microsoft would play down some of the sillier aspects of Kinectivity. Quite the opposite! The Xbox press conference relentlessly bombarded gamers with Kinect enabled features throughout.
Above: Use the air, like you just don't care
And while the press conference kicked off with some interesting voice-controlled implementations, such as controlling Xbox TV and deploying squads in Mass Effect 3, it eventually unspooled many laughably out-dated aspects of motion controlled wackiness that we’d just assumed the world had moved past. Rather than pretend it never happened, we decided to highlight the depths players can sink to when their body becomes the controller.
Above: FREEZE! Hands in the air, maggots… It’s time for Disneyland Adventures!
Above: Before loading certain Kinect games, players will be required to salute Bill Gates
Above: While enjoying Fable: The Journey, please feel free to perfect your fly fishing cast "She's a beauty!"
Above: Perform any endzone dance you like, just mind your internal Dignity Meter
Above: Ghost Recon: Future Soldier weapon customization, or pantomiming every Creed video?
Above: In Kinect Star Wars, you'll perform a force push... wait, this is how you fire in Ghost Recon?!
Above: Ah, here's Star Wars. Which apparently features motion-sensored Girl punches
Above: If you were wondering what the Kinect version of Wii waggle would be, look no further
Above: Tae Bo made a huge comeback in Dance Central 2
Above: "No, youda Werewolf!"
Above: This is Kinect, kids. You best leave that kinda shit on the Wii Balance Board
Above: You are not worthy to look upon Xbox TV! LOOK AWAY, FEMALE!
Above: Kinect Sports: Season 2 featured seasoned dochebags performing as jock stereotypes that made even nerds wince
Above: Levels in Sesame Street: Once Upon a Monster will conclude with an 80’s high-five freeze frame
BONUS READER SUBMISSION: Thanks Sam
Jun 6, 2011
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