Breaking! Two amusingly-shitty games about girls fighting

How could we pass this up? Don't answer that

Words: on May 25, 2010

You know, we try really hard to push the idea that all gamers are pubescent pillow-humping imbeciles. It isn't always easy, but the reward of irritating Very Serious Gamers is worth the effort. But lately... well, we haven't really had to do anything. It's hard when the industry is making fun of itself better than we could ever hope to. Case in point: two trailers which graced our inboxes this morning.

The first is for an iPhone game called Pillowfight Girls Episode 1. Apparently they intend to make a second episode, because one round of horribly animated girls slapping each other's squishy parts with feather bags isn't enough. This seriously looks like a TIGER game, only in color, and designed by a 6th grader who thinks National Lampoon is the height of culture.

The second is... this. Warriors of Elysia, the sequel to Bikini Karate Babes (srsly), is as dense as a neutron star with "Whaaa-haaa-haaaaaaa-hooo-shii-whaat?" It's like Mortal Kombat, kind of, only with a bunch of girls fighting poorly and falling over a lot. Apparently the games were created to "poke fun at the state of fighting games of the day." Right, it's all a joke... sure. Joke or not, creating something like this takes real commitment:


Above: Someone must've put some WTF in the water

The games have developed a strangely devoted cult following, which makes us feel like we're not in on some larger joke, but we imagine that the larger joke is probably that there is no joke. They just love it. Well, good on 'em. We can't claim to understand it, but we can look at some choice screen grabs:

 
Above: Waaaaaaaaaah!

 
Above: Does my womanhood intimidate you?

 
Above: HULK SMASH!

 
Above: What.

May 25, 2010

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16 Comments
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  • Gahmah

    Gahmah  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    So are these gonna be at the next EVO as a joke or something?
  • HornyZombie

    HornyZombie  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    The jiggle physics in Warriors of Elysia so realistic
  • bar1scorpio

    bar1scorpio  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    My sister's name is Elysia. Hence, I cannot stop laughing.

    And... wow... bringin' back the FMV at a full roar. And the cover of the gamebox looks like a SkineMax straight to DVD softcore porno.
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde

    GamesRadarTylerWilde  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    @sleepy92ismypsn That's what you object to about this article?
  • shyfonzie

    shyfonzie  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    There are easier ways to get tits. Geez.
  • DrillurSimpson

    DrillurSimpson  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    I think I was trying to subconsciously get a boner. It just didn't work. Not this time.
  • Modroneman

    Modroneman  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    What is this? Girls can't fight! Get back in the kitchen and make me a samich!
  • sleepy92ismypsn

    sleepy92ismypsn  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    if all of them are girls fighting why are they in bikinis when theres no men around to see them. are they lesbos?

    @ Tyler Wilde
    i thought you guys were supposed to try not to cuss so much. The title of your article has a word in it that i say all the time but it's not suitable for the eyes of the children who visit this website. shame on you.
  • EnragedTortoise1

    EnragedTortoise1  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    What. The. Fuck.
    I stayed FAR away from Pillowfight Girls on cellphones, and I will do the same on Iphone.
  • IsaacFenix

    IsaacFenix  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    I'm pretty sure that last trailer counts as soft-core porn...would explain the cult following.
  • Metroidhunter32

    Metroidhunter32  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    What the bloody hell?
  • willyfoureyes

    willyfoureyes  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    No thanks. Even if I HAD an iPhone, I wouldn't touch these with a ten-foot stylus. If I need fighting games to wank to, I've already got three Dead or Alive games and Arcana Heart. NEXT!
  • Spacegrass

    Spacegrass  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    I don't think it's fair to blame "the industry" for these, considering that maybe six people will ever play them.

    Also, I've seen Playstation 1 games with better graphics than Warriors of Elysia.
  • TheElephantManchurianCandidate

    TheElephantManchurianCandidate  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    Warriors of Elysia WTF!?!?
    Wow just Wow...October 2010!?!? What platform was that for? Dreamcast? 3DO?
    You finally broke me GamesRadar. Mind=blown over 9000 times.
  • MassSaber

    MassSaber  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    I thought bikini karate babes was joke demo who'd thoght it was a full game and popular enuff to make a sequal
  • Evil_AppleJuice

    Evil_AppleJuice  - 1 year, 8 months ago  - Report

    pretty random article, but still entertaining. I can't imagine anyone getting either of those games unless they are wasted and bored.
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