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Breaking! Two amusingly-shitty games about girls fighting

You know, we try really hard to push the idea that all gamers are pubescent pillow-humping imbeciles. It isn't always easy, but the reward of irritating Very Serious Gamers is worth the effort. But lately... well, we haven't really had to do anything. It's hard when the industry is making fun of itself better than we could ever hope to. Case in point: two trailers which graced our inboxes this morning.

The first is for an iPhone game called Pillowfight Girls Episode 1. Apparently they intend to make a second episode, because one round of horribly animated girls slapping each other's squishy parts with feather bags isn't enough. This seriously looks like a TIGER game, only in color, and designed by a 6th grader who thinks National Lampoon is the height of culture.

The second is... this. Warriors of Elysia, the sequel to Bikini Karate Babes (srsly), is as dense as a neutron star with "Whaaa-haaa-haaaaaaa-hooo-shii-whaat?" It's like Mortal Kombat, kind of, only with a bunch of girls fighting poorly and falling over a lot. Apparently the games were created to "poke fun at the state of fighting games of the day." Right, it's all a joke... sure. Joke or not, creating something like this takes real commitment:


Above: Someone must've put some WTF in the water

The games have developed a strangely devoted cult following, which makes us feel like we're not in on some larger joke, but we imagine that the larger joke is probably that there is no joke. They just love it. Well, good on 'em. We can't claim to understand it, but we can look at some choice screen grabs:

 
Above: Waaaaaaaaaah!

 
Above: Does my womanhood intimidate you?

 
Above: HULK SMASH!

 
Above: What.

May 25, 2010

16 comments

  • Gahmah - May 26, 2010 3:10 a.m.

    So are these gonna be at the next EVO as a joke or something?
  • HornyZombie - May 26, 2010 1:07 a.m.

    The jiggle physics in Warriors of Elysia so realistic
  • bar1scorpio - May 26, 2010 12:59 a.m.

    My sister's name is Elysia. Hence, I cannot stop laughing. And... wow... bringin' back the FMV at a full roar. And the cover of the gamebox looks like a SkineMax straight to DVD softcore porno.
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - May 25, 2010 11:31 p.m.

    @sleepy92ismypsn That's what you object to about this article?
  • shyfonzie - May 25, 2010 11:05 p.m.

    There are easier ways to get tits. Geez.
  • DrillurSimpson - May 25, 2010 10:11 p.m.

    I think I was trying to subconsciously get a boner. It just didn't work. Not this time.
  • Modroneman - May 25, 2010 10:10 p.m.

    What is this? Girls can't fight! Get back in the kitchen and make me a samich!
  • sleepy92ismypsn - May 25, 2010 10 p.m.

    if all of them are girls fighting why are they in bikinis when theres no men around to see them. are they lesbos? @ Tyler Wilde i thought you guys were supposed to try not to cuss so much. The title of your article has a word in it that i say all the time but it's not suitable for the eyes of the children who visit this website. shame on you.
  • EnragedTortoise1 - May 25, 2010 9:46 p.m.

    What. The. Fuck. I stayed FAR away from Pillowfight Girls on cellphones, and I will do the same on Iphone.
  • IsaacFenix - May 25, 2010 9:40 p.m.

    I'm pretty sure that last trailer counts as soft-core porn...would explain the cult following.
  • Metroidhunter32 - May 25, 2010 8:39 p.m.

    What the bloody hell?
  • willyfoureyes - May 25, 2010 8:27 p.m.

    No thanks. Even if I HAD an iPhone, I wouldn't touch these with a ten-foot stylus. If I need fighting games to wank to, I've already got three Dead or Alive games and Arcana Heart. NEXT!
  • Spacegrass - May 25, 2010 8:07 p.m.

    I don't think it's fair to blame "the industry" for these, considering that maybe six people will ever play them. Also, I've seen Playstation 1 games with better graphics than Warriors of Elysia.
  • TheElephantManchurianCandidate - May 25, 2010 8:01 p.m.

    Warriors of Elysia WTF!?!? Wow just Wow...October 2010!?!? What platform was that for? Dreamcast? 3DO? You finally broke me GamesRadar. Mind=blown over 9000 times.
  • MassSaber - May 25, 2010 8:01 p.m.

    I thought bikini karate babes was joke demo who'd thoght it was a full game and popular enuff to make a sequal
  • Evil_AppleJuice - May 25, 2010 7:54 p.m.

    pretty random article, but still entertaining. I can't imagine anyone getting either of those games unless they are wasted and bored.

Showing 1-16 of 16 comments

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