Grand Theft Auto IV is too big, too deep, too overwhelming. You could spend dozens of hours in Liberty City and still overlook hundreds of hidden details. You could finish the storyline completely and still pass by some of the game's very best moments.
We're not talking about pigeons, stunt jumps, glitches or Easter eggs either. We're talking about entire characters, whole missions, secret sex scenes and phonebooks worth of must-see trivia.
If you're a 100% completist, you already know about most of these. If you're a regular player, on the other hand, you need to go back. If you blasted through GTA IV in a month, you need to reload. If you never hunted a sadistic serial killer, dated a sex-crazed socialite or researched Lazlow's criminal history, you need to read on...
How many girlfriends do you have?
Everyone dates Kate and "Michelle" of course. With a quick visit to Love-Meet.net, Carmen the nurse and Kiki the lawyer are also easily found. Few players, however, bother tracking down the elusive fifth woman, Alex Chilton. She's snobby, picky, bratty, materialistic, self-centered and annoying. She's also totally worth the trouble.
Why? Because Alex Chilton, a perfect parody of Paris Hilton and
Carrie Bradshaw, is obsessed with documenting every meaningless minutiae of her own life. Which means - naturally - that she blogs. Which means that she will write about her relationship with Niko. Which means that she will write about her sexual relationship with Niko.
NB, you animal! The blog posts just get stranger and steamier from there, with Rockstar earning every bit of that Mature rating. You can even go on some bad dates, or dump Alex altogether, to watch the writing turn nasty.
HOW TO FIND:
1) Unlock the second island, Algonquin.
2) Sign online and head to www.craplist.net.
3) Click on "women seeking men" and then "Party girl seeks man for NSA fun and blog material."
4) Send her an email and wait for your date. You'll want to wear a nice suit, drive a nice car and take Alex to the comedy club to guarantee a second shot.
5) Once successful, head to liberatedwoman.blogsnobs.org to read all the juicy details.
Liberty City is brimming with bad guys, but unless you wander into the exact wrong place at the exact wrong time, you might never encounter the evilest guy of all. He only emerges in the darkest hours of the night. He only hangs out in the dirtiest, foggiest alleyways. And although his bloody escapades are splattered across news reports throughout the entire game, he only reveals himself on the last island.
His name is Eddie Low, and he is a serial killer. More importantly, he is a "random pedestrian" who initiates two of GTA IV's creepiest missions. In fact, helping Eddie dispose of a headless body in a bag is the easiest part; it's listening to him talk that will make your skin crawl. Even Niko, a violent sociopath in his own right, gets a little freaked out.
We've recorded the cutscenes here, but you'll have to reload your old save file to see what happens next.
HOW TO FIND:
1) Complete Gerry McReary's mission, "Actions Speak Louder Than Words."
2) Go to the spot indicated in the map below, between 12:00 and 4:00 AM.
3) Wait at least one in-game day to activate Eddie's second mission.
4) Go to the spot indicated in the map below, between 12:00 and 4:00 AM.
5) Read Eddie's blog at MyRoomOnline.net. Scary!
You may have beaten the game and met every character, but how much do you really know about all your new friends, enemies and random acquaintances? For example, did you know that Little Jacob is only 26? Or that, at 31, Roman is one year older than Niko?
Did you know that Brucie the womanizer was arrested in 2001 for patronizing a transvestite prostitute? That the always depressed Dwayne was placed on suicide watch for most of his prison sentence? That politician Michael Graves was "charged with sexually harassing employees' children" or that Elizabeta, the drug lord of ambiguous persuasion, is "known to frequent female gyms and tennis courts"?
You would be amazed at how much information the LCPD keeps in its online database. Far superior to the bare-bones police car database, and only teased in a single email from Francis McReary, this vast library of trivia contains over 100 entries, but is worth seeking out for Lazlow's alone. Did you know the radio jock has a "history of exposing himself to old women when down on his luck" or that he has been arrested for stalking, public lewdness and "forcible touching"? Follow the instructions below and you will soon enough!
HOW TO FIND:
1) Access the in-game web and go to www.libertycitypolice.com.
2) Scroll to the bottom and click the small "Database" link next to a lock icon.
3) Choose a section of the alphabet and pry, pry away!
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