Say you’re a betting man and you watched a balding, 6-foot tall, 250-pound guy mosey into a Best Buy. Under one arm is a bouncing 1-2 year old baby. Under the other? Two Xboxes that he’s not planning on paying for. What are the odds of him getting out the door?
Evidently, they’re pretty high. Over the weekend, the Dayton Daily Newsreported the theft in a nearby suburb of Dayton, Ohio. One witness said that he even had a large diaper bag slung around his back and that “he had his hands full.”
Not too full to get out the door, though. Our Xbox-pilfering master criminal made it outside and into his maroon Kia Spectra and fled the scene - without securing his little accomplice safely into his car seat.
No father of the year award, then. Still, we say any 6-foot, 250-lbs guy that can actually fit both his large frame and the 100-pound brass testicles he must clearly have into a Kia Spectra deserves to keep anything else he can possibly cram in there. Especially if it’s a new slim 360. If he ended up with an old Elite… well, who’s the joke on now?
Jul 20, 2010
