The Curse Of Harrison Ford

Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return Of The Jedi (1977-1983)

The franchise that propelled Ford’s career into the stratosphere – and he was in career-massacre mode right off the bat, leaving Hamill’s in a pulpy heap by the side of the road.

“So why aren’t I Harrison Ford?” the man who was Luke Skywalker once barked to a reporter. “I don’t know – I’m just NOT.”

Indiana Jones Trilogy (1981-1989)

All three were plucked from obscurity to play Indiana Jones’ spunky/shrieky/rubbish leading ladies, but time spent with Ford doused any A-lister prospects they had.

Okay, Capshaw married the director and Allen was lamely wheeled out for IJ4 but all we can say is, beware Shia LaBeouf…

Sabrina (1995)

Ormond’s triple-whammy springboard to Hollywood fame and fortune started promisingly in Legends Of The Fall, held steady in First Knight – and then had its soul sucked out by the Ford succubus in Sabrina.

Her explanation for hightailing it out of Hollywood? “I made a deliberate choice to step away and get involved in refugee issues.”

Six Days, Seven Nights (1998)

Hot off Donnie Brasco and Wag The Dog, Heche was hand-picked to be Ford’s latest screen cutie.

It should have launched her a few rungs up the Tinseltown ladder.

Instead, woozy from the wreckage, she plunged straight into Psycho, a tell-all bio titled Call Me Crazy and ecstasy-fuelled freakouts which lead her to claim she was God’s daughter.

Random Hearts (1999)

Everyone’s favourite cut-glass Brit was toast of the town after The English Patient and The Horse Whisperer.

Hollywood thought it had found the new Julie Christie, until Ford lured KST, with a Dr. Evil cackle, into playing tonsil hockey with him in this energy-sapping romance.

Those industry doors slammed shut as swiftly as they had opened.

K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)

Fresh from sending three leading ladies’ careers into deep freeze, Ford iced an entire genre next: the submarine thriller.

Following in the buoyant box-office slipstream of The Hunt For Red October, Crimson Tide and U-571, K-19 instead perished in the ghostly fathoms.

“Vee dee-liver or vee drown!” Ford’s rogue Soviet sub captain snarled to his men. They drowned.

Hollywood Homicide (2003)

Once upon a time, Hartnett was a chiselled heartthrob destined for Pitt-stylee superstardom (Warner Bros practically /begged/ him to be Bryan Singer’s Superman).

But as soon as he clashed with Ford in this grumpy git/young gun cop-com, Josh’s career melted into a miasma of flops (Wicker Park, Lucky Number Slevin, The Black Dahlia).

Firewall (2006)

Bettany still had Hollywood heat when he faced off against Ford in this drowsy compu-thriller.

Since then, he’s been relegated to creep cameos (The Da Vinci Code, The Secret Life Of Bees), disembodied butler voices (Iron Man) and low-rent fantasy (Inkheart), before clawing back some much-needed mojo this year as Charles Darwin in Creation.