Skip to main content
GamesRadar+ GamesRadar+ GamesRadar+ The Games, Movies, TV & Comics You Love
Sign in
  • View Profile
  • Sign out
flag of UK
UK
flag of US
US
flag of Canada
Canada
flag of Australia
Australia
  • Games
  • TV
  • Movies
  • Hardware
  • Video
  • News
  • Reviews
  • Guides
  • Deals
  • More
    • PS5
    • Xbox Series X
    • Nintendo Switch
    • Nintendo Switch 2
    • PC
    • Platforms
    • Tabletop Gaming
    • Comics
    • Toys & Collectibles
    • SFX
    • Newsarama
    • Retro Gamer
    • Newsletters
    • About us
    • Features
Total Film
Gaming Magazines
Gaming Magazines
Why subscribe?
  • Subscribe from just £3
  • Takes you closer to the games, movies and TV you love
  • Try a single issue or save on a subscription
  • Issues delivered straight to your door or device
From$12
View
Trending
  • Prime Day Deals
  • Superman
  • Donkey Kong Bananza
  • Switch 2 stock
Recommended reading
Best dating sims: a screenshot of the hero and Yosuga during Olympia Soirée.
Simulation Games The 10 best dating sims to play right now
Modryn Oreyn in The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion Remastered standing with no top on
The Elder Scrolls I spent 20 hours running into Oblivion Remastered battles with a half-naked companion by my side, and it wouldn't have been the same without him
Kofi serves an affogato in Date Everything
Adventure Games Date Everything review: "A masterclass in character design full of wonderful faces I love meeting, but juggling so many means sacrificing depth"
Official key art for Date Everything, showing multiple characters.
Simulation Games Date Everything, a dating sim where you can romance household appliances, has around 80 hours of voiced dialogue from stars of Baldur's Gate 3, Final Fantasy, and more: "You can keep playing this for a long time"
Mass Effect 2 - Garrus
Adventure Games The 25 best video game stories to play right now
GTA 6
Grand Theft Auto Grand Theft Auto 6 looks beautiful, but I'm convinced Jason and Lucia's love story will be the real secret sauce that makes it worth the 13-year wait
Creepy Redneck Dinosaur Mansion 3 screenshot of J.J. Hardwell standing with a handgun and looking warily at the shadow of Evil J.J. looming behind him
RPGs Creepy Redneck Dinosaur Mansion 3 is the first "survival horror comedy RPG metroidvania" I've ever played, and that sure is a lot of words
  1. Games
  2. Action

If game characters wrote missed connections posts

Features
By Matt Bradford published 12 February 2014

Letters from gaming's most hopeless romantics

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

NPCs need loving too

NPCs need loving too

Love is a gamble. Cupid's arrow doesn't always hit its target, and sometimes it misses altogether. This is as true in real life as it is in games, where digital connections can be forged and forgotten without the hero (or heroine) ever cluing in.

In tribute to these virtual missed connections, we poured through the personal ads of the gaming world to bring you the most touching, desperate, and cringe-inducing letters from characters looking for a second shot at love. Join as we celebrate the relationships that could've been (but never will be) in our gallery of aching hearts...

Page 1 of 12
Page 1 of 12
You broke my chandelier. And my heart f4h

You broke my chandelier. And my heart f4h

"Before you landed on Pumpkin Island, I was just a lonely waitress with a sad song. Now that you're gone, my days just don't have the same spice. My father insists you've only got eyes for a princess, but I think I have what it takes to collect your heart. When you're done saving the world, why not stop by for a late night milk? My field could still use a little work..."

- Spotted in the Grooselist.com

Page 2 of 12
Page 2 of 12
You pressed all the right buttons - gfGoW

You pressed all the right buttons - gfGoW

"Sigh. I guess you Spartans are all the same. Still, I thought I was more than a wham-bam-thanks-for-the-health-boost-ma'am. The way you Square, Circle, and Ex'd Persephone in the fountain and then Triangle, Triangle, Counter-Clockwise spun me around that night ... well ... those kind of moves can make a girl feel special. Care for a replay? We promise to make you forget all about accidentally slaughtering your family. "

- Spotted in Bathhouse Confessions

Page 3 of 12
Page 3 of 12
I was your first p4p

I was your first p4p

"I know I'm low-res and don't have as many animations as them. But I was your first, and I thought that meant something. You can change your name and play games with your celebrity friends, but I know there's a Jump Man inside you who yearns for a simpler time. So go and dress up in cat suits. Play your sports. Drive your karts. I'll be here waiting at the finish line for the day you realize that true happiness comes with a hammer, a ladder, and your first lady in pink."

- Spotted in The DK Daily

Page 4 of 12
Page 4 of 12
Restless in Los Santos s4t

Restless in Los Santos s4t

"Where'd you go, Mr. Philips? That clown guy says you own this place, but I never see you around. Sapphire heard you run a successful business up north, but Chastity insists she saw you running in your underwear down Vinewood Boulevard. You are a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a blood stained t-shirt with a Canadian accent, and I can't get you out of my mind. My pulse quickens whenever I hear sirens. My knees get weak when helicopters explode. It may have only been two-minutes of awkward fondling to you, but it was long enough to steal my heart. Turn yourself in. I promise I won't go easy..."

- Spotted in the Los Santos Meteor

Page 5 of 12
Page 5 of 12
Braaaanez? Brrrraiiaaans, Brains! Z4f

Braaaanez? Brrrraiiaaans, Brains! Z4f

"Wut U up 2? You coMing bak? STARZ dont treet you gud. I TREAT U GUD! I wuz doktor. I fiks u up with herbs! We hunt monstors togethur! We mAke goOd team! Pleez com bak. Me only waNt to hug! (maybee eat Brain?). Kall me, mabee?"

- Spotted in Raccoon City Monthly

Page 6 of 12
Page 6 of 12
Set me free! b4TR

Set me free! b4TR

"It's a lonely life, but you'll never hear me complain. I know I'm nearly four times your age, and I know we're but passing ships on an ocean of unrequited love. One day, though, I hope you'll holster your Desert Eagles for good and then--maybe then--you'll shine that flashlight upon the dusty tombs of my heart...?"

- Spotted in Raider's Digest

Page 7 of 12
Page 7 of 12
You know what they say about a guy with big hands? h4f

You know what they say about a guy with big hands? h4f

"No offense, but I gotta ask why you're hanging out with DeWitt? That guy's old enough to be your dad! You gotta get you butt back to my side of town so I can show you how real Colombians roll. I'm talking dinner at the Blue Ribbon, drinks at the Good Time Club, and kickin' it at Battleship Bay till dawn. I don't care how many realities there are, you're one of a kind."

- Spotted in the Minuteman Gazette

Page 8 of 12
Page 8 of 12
I can teach you more than how to make bombs - mfm

I can teach you more than how to make bombs - mfm

"So, how 'bout it, friend? What if you dropped that kid off at the nearest gas station and head on back for a visit? What if you put all this infection business aside and cut loose? We could grab a few beers, shoot us some clickers, and heck, maybe even fire up that arcade cabinet and give those joysticks a twirl. Hell, I ain't looking for anything major, just a friend at the end of the world. Preferably one with benefits, but we can start slow..."

- Spotted in Apocalypse: Now?

Page 9 of 12
Page 9 of 12
Heart to the power of three - c4f

Heart to the power of three - c4f

"Alas, see what you've done to me, dear Chell? Our time together in Test Chamber 17 has rendered me prone to romantic prose. Basked in the gravitational field of your portal gun, I came alive. Casting me into the incinerator only fueled the fire within my heart. I know I am but a cube, but even you cannot deny our connection. Here, I sit charred and forlorn upon the Aperture Science parking lot, relieved in the knowledge that you are free and are but readying our love nest to return and take me away. You are coming back, right? Chell?"

- Spotted in the Aperture Journal of Interdimensional Science (Summer Issue)

Page 10 of 12
Page 10 of 12
I've only got eye for you -t4f

I've only got eye for you -t4f

"You want the real deal? Call me: ATLAS, the ultimate in cooperative testing, portal puzzling, and getting it on. We locked sensors in the Aperture Science Enrichment Centre and my personality core has been in an infinite loop ever since. Face it, girl, you know I'm the Personality Construct android for you. I was designed for maximum hit ratios and maximum fun. Plus, with my new upgrade, I've got a few sexy tricks up my sleeve. Give me a shot, Subject 1498. I promise I won't miss."

- Printed in the Aperture Journal of Interdimensional Science (Winter Issue)

Page 11 of 12
Page 11 of 12
Happy hunting

Happy hunting

If you're still searching for a love connection like these characters, we wish you all the best in your quests. And if you'd like to use our comment section to write a missed connections post of your own, we won't stop you, but you're better off with Craigslist.

And if you're looking still looking for love, check out gaming's most cringeworthy pick-up lines and unrequited loves that were never meant to be.

Page 12 of 12
Page 12 of 12
CATEGORIES
Android iPad iPhone PC Gaming Wii-u Nintendo PlayStation PS4 Xbox Xbox One Platforms Mobile Gaming
PRODUCTS
Grand Theft Auto V The Last of Us Resident Evil 3 God of War II Portal The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Portal 2 BioShock Infinite Tomb Raider 2
Matt Bradford
Social Links Navigation

Matt Bradford wrote news and features here at GamesRadar+ until 2016. Since then he's gone on to work with the Guinness World Records, acting as writer and researcher for the annual Gamer's Edition series of books, and has worked as an editor, technical writer, and voice actor. Matt is now a freelance journalist and editor, generating copy across a multitude of industries. 

See more PC Gaming Features
Read more
Best dating sims: a screenshot of the hero and Yosuga during Olympia Soirée.
The 10 best dating sims to play right now
Modryn Oreyn in The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion Remastered standing with no top on
I spent 20 hours running into Oblivion Remastered battles with a half-naked companion by my side, and it wouldn't have been the same without him
Kofi serves an affogato in Date Everything
Date Everything review: "A masterclass in character design full of wonderful faces I love meeting, but juggling so many means sacrificing depth"
Official key art for Date Everything, showing multiple characters.
Date Everything, a dating sim where you can romance household appliances, has around 80 hours of voiced dialogue from stars of Baldur's Gate 3, Final Fantasy, and more: "You can keep playing this for a long time"
Mass Effect 2 - Garrus
The 25 best video game stories to play right now
GTA 6
Grand Theft Auto 6 looks beautiful, but I'm convinced Jason and Lucia's love story will be the real secret sauce that makes it worth the 13-year wait
Latest in Action
Dead Island 2 screenshot
"Boy, that game sucked": Notorious Dead Island 2 delay lasted nearly a decade partly because its original developer ignored "horrific" player feedback, says former Deep Silver lead
Kassandra holding a falcon on her arm during Assassin's Creed Odyssey
Ubisoft foresaw the grindy fate of Assassin's Creed Valhalla back in the Odyssey days, wanting a literal "odyssey" but not "a world that was just fatiguing to travel through"
Zelda
Final Fantasy 14's Yoshi-P says his latest game dev crush is The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, one of the most efficient games he's played all year
Kassandra holding a falcon on her arm during Assassin's Creed Odyssey
Ubisoft had a very on-brand problem with Assassin's Creed Odyssey: there weren't many tall buildings in Ancient Greece even though it's a "climbing-frame game"
Link points a finger at the stand, channelling Ace Attorney's stance, in a screenshot from the Hero of Law mod.
27 years later, this uncanny "Hero of Law" mod makes The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time the game it was always meant to be: Ace Attorney
Arthur Morgan and Sadie ride horses in Red Dead Redemption 2
Rockstar Games may have unintentionally confirmed Red Dead Redemption 2 and GTA 4 re-releases, fans theorize as mysterious new support options are discovered
Latest in Features
A screenshot of PUCK eating an enemy during the upcoming Xbox Series X game, Shadow Labyrinth.
The best retro remakes and reboots out there aren't afraid to get weird with it – as Shadow Labyrinth being a dark and gritty Pac-Man game shows us
Nicholas Hoult as Lex Luthor in Superman
After Superman, I'm convinced that Lex Luthor is already a more exciting supervillain than Robert Downey Jr.'s Doctor Doom
Laezel BG3 evil ending
After 2 years, I've renewed my love for turn-based RPGs with these 5 games like Baldur's Gate 3 I can't stop recommending
A screenshot of Total War: Warhammer 3 showing grave guard soldiers jumping out of a siege tower beneath a grey sky
After 2,537 hours of playing Total War: Warhammer, I'm almost ready to say goodbye to Creative Assembly's best strategy series
Fallout: New Vegas
I'm going back to the five best post-apocalyptic games I ever played, thanks to Death Stranding 2 giving me a taste for the terrible
The Sims 4 Enchanted by Nature fairy
After 2000 hours of creating a fantasy save file in The Sims, I've decided to rank all 8 Sims 4 occults, including the new Enchanted by Nature's fairies
  1. Zion Wright grinds along a wooden balustrade in in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 + 4's San Francisco level
    1
    Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 + 4 review: "A nostalgic, must-play hit for fans"
  2. 2
    College Football 26 review: “Thanks to rivalries and dynasty, this is the greatest show on turf”
  3. 3
    Mecha Break review: "This mech battler makes up for lacking customization with a varied roster that lets me live out my Evangelion fantasy"
  4. 4
    Death Stranding 2: On the Beach review: "This tarpunk delivery epic is more Metal Gear Solid than ever, for better and worse"
  5. 5
    Rematch review: "As with Rocket League, the just-one-more-game pull is magnetic"
  1. David Corenswet as Superman inside the Fortress of Solitude in James Gunn's Superman.
    1
    Superman review: "A triumphant reinvention and a promising start for the DCU"
  2. 2
    Jurassic World Rebirth Review: "An unscary sequel that needed a little more time in amber"
  3. 3
    M3GAN 2.0 review: "A bold sequel with a slightly underwhelming conclusion"
  4. 4
    28 Years Later Review: "Enough terror, splatter and suspense to satisfy”
  5. 5
    Predator: Killer of Killers review: "Great characters, thrilling action, and gorgeous Arcane-esque animation"
  1. Lee Jung-jae as Gi-hun in Squid Game season 3
    1
    Squid Game season 3 review: "A staggeringly excellent final season wraps up one of the greatest Netflix shows ever"
  2. 2
    Ironheart review: "A relic of Marvel's content-at-all-costs era"
  3. 3
    Star Trek: Strange New Worlds season 3 review: "The show's most assured run of episodes to date"
  4. 4
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 8 spoiler review: 'The Reality War' is "a mix of the good, the bad, and the truly baffling"
  5. 5
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 7 spoiler review: 'Wish World' is "an exciting and ambitious" start to the season finale, with hints of WandaVision

GamesRadar+ is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.

  • About Us
  • Contact Future's experts
  • Terms and conditions
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies policy
  • Advertise with us
  • Review guidelines
  • Write for us
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Careers

© Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.

Please login or signup to comment

Please wait...