You son of a
Yeah, I know, there are already plenty of trolls in the competitive shooter space, stabbing you in the back, setting up degrading kill-cams, and just being a complete dick on the mic. But don't you want to get those SOBs back in the most creative, humbling way possible? Don't you want to make them weep for their mommies, or angrily snap their controllers in half? Sure, you could just be above petty an-eye-for-an-eye revenge. But seriously, if you shy away from a little bit of online trolling, you're really missing out.
I've taken Call of Duty: Ghosts multiplayer customization options to the absolute limits of their trolling potential. In the following examples, youll find the most obnoxious class loadouts I could think of. But be warned: Trollin' ain't easy. Some of these classes might take some actual skill to get the desired results. If you're ready to unleash your inner douchebag, continue reading and get ready to cause some grief.
Primary: Combat Knife
Secondary: You don't need it
Lethal: Throwing Knife
Perks: Agility, Marathon, Takedown, Dead Silence, and Off the Grid
Strike Package: SAT COM, Guard Dog, Maniac
Suggested headgear/uniform: Skullcap and Federation Standard Tactical
How it works: There aren't many trololololo-ly deaths more humiliating than getting stabbed in the back by a knife-wielding lunatic. So, heres how to be that lunatic. Forget about the projectile weapons and equip a combat knife. Take a throwing knife to toss out at the beginning of a match and pray for a kill (hey, it can happen). Your concussion grenade will help you close the distance between you and your target, and equipping perks that let you move fast and be invisible are the most ideal. Think sneaky. Avoid head-on confrontations. Never run through the middle of the map. Earning your guard dog perk will keep enemies off your back--then, once you get the Maniac streak, just go nuts. Slice 'n' dice!
Primary: Anything that fits an underbarrel grenade launcher
Lethal: Underbarrel grenade launcher
Tactical: Thermobaric grenade
Perks: Recon, Extra Tactical, Extra Lethal, Danger Close
Strike Package: I.M.S., Trinity Rocket, Gryphon
Suggested headgear/uniform: Federation Demolitions and DEVGRU Tactical
How it works: Ah, the noob tube. The weapon of choice for griefers and trolls. But hey, when you can't beat 'em strap a freaking rocket launcher to your back and blast 'em all to hell. With this class, you're going to want to equip anything and everything that goes boom. Grab any primary weapon that can attach an underbarrel grenade launcher. Load up on the Extra Tactical, Extra Lethal, and Danger Close perks so you'll have more explosives that pack a heavier punch. Then, set down the I.M.S. streak as soon as you earn it. Rain down fire with your Trinity Rockets, and bring the burning, searing pain with your Gryphon drone. Let every explosive ordinance you have fly as if they were in sync with Beethoven's "Ode to Joy." Better yet, play Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" over your mic as all this is happening.
Primary: Chain SAW with rapid fire
Secondary: LSAT with rapid fire
Lethal: Your choice
Perks: Overkill and Deadeye
Strike Package: Maniac, Juggernaut, and Loki
Suggested headgear/uniform: DEVGRU Dominator and DEVGRU Heavy
How it works: The goal with your Rampaging Psychopath is to be an ever-firing, slow-moving turret that shoots the shit out of everything in your path. The Overkill perk allows you to carry two LMGs, which have massive magazines, and Deadeye will fuel your frenzy with progressively easier kills. Blast away with no regard for ammo; when you run dry, switch weapons and keep on rockin'. Once you unlock your Sentry Gun streak, drop it in a high traffic area and cover its six. Stay alive long enough to rack up a Juggernaut streak and continue mowing down the competition. If you manage to unlock your Loki, you've done it! You're a beast.
Primary: Riot Shield with a Titanium Frame
Secondary: Magnum or other side arm
Tactical: Concussion grenade
Perks: Agility, ICU, Tac Resist, and Blast Shield
Strike Package: Ballistic Vests, Support Squadmate, Juggernaut Recon
Suggested headgear/uniform: Federation Riot Control and Federation Heavy
How it works: What's the biggest pain in the ass in CoD multiplayer? Someone who just won't die, and that's who you're going to be. Your shield will keep you protected from gunfire, and you can switch over to your magnum to gun down foes while they reload. The Spartan Wall's bread and butter is earning the Strike Package streaks. There's no pressure to stay alive as you're earning your support streaks, so I suggest holding off using the Support Squadmate and Juggernaut Recon until you have both of them unlocked. Once you earn both killstreaks, strap on your gear and sandwich every enemy you can between you and your squadmate. You know, like you're in a Spartan Phalanx. This. Is. CoD: Ghosts!
Primary: MTS-255 with Crocodile camo and slug rounds
Secondary: Akimbo .44 Magnums
Lethal: Throwing knife
Perks: Quickdraw, and Deadeye
Strike Package: SAT COM, Guard Dog, Helo Pilot
Suggested headgear/uniform: No headgear and DEVGRU Sniper (Those chaps!)
How it works: Honestly, the Cowboy class is more likely to inspire you to spew old-timey insults over a free-for-all match more than it is a frustratingly, obnoxious loadout to terrorize the online public with. But whatever, I'm going with it anyway. The other classes have been skill-based; this one can be a lot more vocal. Who doesn't love cowboy-themed trolling? Load up the old-school style MTS-255 shotgun and akimbo .44 magnum revolvers for that gunslinger feel. Your Quickdraw and Deadeye perks (coincidentally Wild West-esque names) will make you the fastest, most deadly shot this side of the Mississippi. Every time you get a kill, that's your cue to taunt the victim of your pwnage with a Clint Eastwood line.
Go troll minions, off to trolling!
There you have it. Everything you need to start your career as a Call of Duty: Ghosts troll. Are there any other classes and loadouts that you like to harass your online opponents with? What multiplayer trolling stories do you have to share? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.