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The 25 best movie insults for that perfect comeback

5. Swimming with Sharks (1994)

The insult: “You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn't bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you.” 

Frank Underwood might be a bastard behind closed doors, but Buddy Ackerman is a bastard right to your face, preferably when there's lots of your peers and superiors around. Kevin Spacey's finest role to date as the movie executive with no soul finds him degrading his poor assistant for probably the 900th time. 

4. Casino (1995)

The insult: "Why you shit-kickin', stinky, horse-manure-smelling motherfucker, you!" 

No-one delivers this type of invective quite like Joe Pesci. A string of foul-mouthed descriptors combined with some choice bad language make it roll off the tongue. It flows so perfectly, it's as if he made it up on the spot...

3. The Women (1939)

The insult: “There’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society… outside of a kennel.” 

If you ever needed proof that Hollywood's Golden Age wasn't all hoity toity and actually had a bit of grit, look no further than this seething line. In the role of Crystal Allen, Joan Crawford's penchant for being passive aggressive works a treat. 

2. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

The insult: “Look up ‘idiot’ in the dictionary, you know what you’ll find?” “A picture of me?” “No, the definition of the word ‘idiot’ which you fucking are.” 

Harry (Robert Downey Jr.) mistakenly thinks he's helping matters by throwing his Perry (Val Kilmer)'s gun - a gift from his mother, no less - into a lake, so Perry lets this insult loose. Well, it is a lake that's most likely about to get dragged by police in search of a dead body in a car. 

1. Blade: Trinity (2004)

The insult: "You cock-juggling thundercunt!" 

Ryan Reynolds, channeling the Merc With A Mouth five years early, spews forth this snappy one-liner of evil at Dracula's henchwoman, played by Parker Posey. It's concise and packs a punch. Probably best to not try this one out on an actual person, though, perhaps something like an ATM. Something that can't press charges.

Gem Seddon

I'm GamesRadar+'s west coast Entertainment News Reporter. I'm a bit obsessed with all things Aliens and Terminator. You can find my byline on our best Netflix movies and best Netflix shows lists.