The virtual junkie's guide to gaming's drug spots

ShellShock Nam '67 | Eidos | PC, PS2, Xbox | 2004

Furnished with drugs, a DJ and prostitutes, graphical hedonists might think that Shellshock's base camp would be a perfect hangout. Unfortunately, the vibes are spoilt somewhat by the bloody horrors of war that surround this jungle den of debauchery.

As if dodging holes filled with pointy sticks covered in Victor Charlie's poo isn't bad enough, you also have to cope with your Marine 'buddies' committing such disturbing acts of violence as slicing up a prostitute's breasts with a combat knife large enough to hack off an elephant's leg. And this sort of malevolent ambience isn't exactly the ideal backdrop to a satisfying session of drug consumption. No matter how intoxicating a cocktail of Dexedrine and temazepam you care to mix together.

NARC | Midway | PS2, Xbox | 2005

For the virtual junkie this is undoubtedly the best hangout to get mashed like potatoes. There are plenty of drugs to choose from and, get this, because you're in the employ of the local law enforcement you can simply steal your stash from criminals. Result.

Take your pick from pot, cocaine, acid, ecstasy, speed, Quaaludes and more. It's nothing less than a junkie wonderland! But before you go floundering in like a base head at a crack sale, be warned that slam dunking too many disco beans, excessively mooching the pipe or blazing too many fat ones can lead to hopeless addiction, blackouts, diminishing health and, horror of horrors, the loss of rep points. Luckily, you can 'get clean' by simply popping a Protodone pill.

There are positive benefits to noshing narcotics, though. Bosh some ecstasy and enemies won't attack you, speed gives you added velocity of movement, crack improves your shooting accuracy and acid helps you identify the bad guys by giving them huge demon heads. Unfortunately, no matter how many drugs you take, actually playing NARC is only moderately more fun than having your stomach pumped while in the midst of a waking hallucinatory nightmare.

Above: ShellShock gives virtual junkies the opportunity to neck Dexedrine on the battlefield to give them an extra boost

Above: ShellShock gives virtual junkies the opportunity to neck Dexedrine on the battlefield to give them an extra boost

Matt Cundy
I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.