The Match review

Describe the plot of The Match as paper thin and the nation's A4 manufacturers will have their defamation lawyers onto you like a shot. Boasting no hidden depths and barely a glimmer of a subplot, this tale of plucky no-hopers facing up to a highly trained opposition team that they have no earthly chance of beating is awe-inspiringly basic.

But that doesn't make Davis' debut feature a bad film. So what if it chugs languidly along towards Happy Ending Land? There are far worse crimes than that. It has a good-sized dollop of gentle charm, just enough beautiful scenery to keep the Highlands Tourist Board happy and a sufficiently offbeat selection of characters to distract audiences from the fact that nothing much is really happening.

The opening credits have barely finished rolling before Davis has introduced us to a philosophising bread-van driver (Bill Paterson) and a farmer (Cosmo) in love with one of his cows. Not to mention the intrepid lead: tragic young milkman Wullie (Beesley, from TV's Tom Jones) with his gimpy leg, his encyclopaedic knowledge of football and unspoken love for the daughter of the shop-keeper (the gorgeous Fraser).

Credit is also due to the first-time helmer for assembling a sound bunch of actors. There's Richard E Grant as the evilly camp bistro owner Gorgeous Gus, Ian Holm as his pissed-up rival Big Tam, Neil Morrissey behaving badly as monosyllabically offensive ex-pro Piss-Off and even Tom Sizemore as drunken, former fighter pilot Buffalo. True, they're playing TV-sized caricatures rather than big-screen characters; but they still turn in fuss-free performances for a small-time comedy that sets itself relatively low standards, yet nevertheless smacks them into the back of the net.