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""Don't go, it's crap!"" screamed the French posters of actor/producer/writer/director Laurent Baffie's nonsense comedy. Boy, they weren't kidding: this is a Gallic, middle-aged version of Dude, Where's My Car (Keys)?, with French TV comedian Baffie and thesp Daniel Russo wandering through a series of non sequitur gags in search of the eponymous missing objects. Self-conscious, surreal nonsense involving killer whales, animated interludes and a "friendly" bank robbery. It's so totally absurd, even Eric "'When the seagulls follow the trawler'" Cantona refuses to star in it.

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The Total Film team are made up of the finest minds in all of film journalism. They are: Editor Jane Crowther, Deputy Editor Matt Maytum, Reviews Ed Matthew Leyland, New Editor Jordan Farley, and Online Editor Jack Shepherd. Expect exclusive news, reviews, features, and more from the team behind the smarter movie magazine.

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