Easy modes are like an old toy. You're too old to play with them, you've matured past the need to have them around, yet they're always there if you ever need some comfort. GamesRadar's Dave Meikleham makes a point of playing every new game on 'Legendary' or the equivalent. Cundy, however, just wants to get through games quickly and enjoy the ride, so he plumps for easy every time. There's an argument for both ways. But 'enjoying' the ride is an E-word in itself. So it wins.
Above: Time to relax. Why be so hard on yourself?Chill out. Takeit Easy...
E is for... Early adopter
If you haven't got the latest console / game / squirrel attachment on the very day of release, you're not hardcore enough. In fact, even if you did, you should have been at the midnight launch. And if you were at the midnight launch, you should have been at the front of the queue. Camped out. With no food or drink to sustain you except your inside lip and an empty bottle. Cos everyone knows that's the only way a 'true' fan rolls.
Above: Pah! A true fan doesn't need umbrellas and welcomes the rain
E is for... Extra Life
You don't see that many of these any more, which is a shame because they used to be the holy grail of any game. Especially when the number of lives ticks round to a number that's higher than you started with. Can you imagine? You've got all the lives you started with, and another one. That means, like, you could die now and still be exactly where you were when you started the game, only with more score and crap.
E is for... EXP
Everything you do is for EXP. You don't even know what it means. Sure, it stands for 'Experience points', but can you really explain the concept? Sure, you will become more proficient/stronger when you repeat an experience over and over, but whydoes that change which items are available at the local store?Anyone would think the shops are allrun by Jimi Hendrix.
Above: It shouldn't really make a difference, should it?
E is for... Exclusive
See this game? It's amazing and it's only on MY console, losers. Yeah, and your console could never run it even if it wasn't exclusive to MY console. What's that? Timed exclusive? Well, no-one cares about that game any more anyway. It's sad really, your machine only gets old games that nobody plays any more. God, it must be embarassing to be you and own your machine. I wouldn't even bother getting up if I was you. Nobody wants that game.
Above: Oh, except for PlayStation 2. AndWii. AndPC. And...
We know we haven't missed a single gaming 'E' in thisutterly exhaustive list, but if you think we have missed an important one, let us know your favourite 'E' in the comments.
11 Jun, 2010
