Bethesda has long insisted that war never changes, but they’re barking up the wrong tree. The one immovable constant in every Bethesda RPG is that players will hoard miscellaneous junk in every universe - from the cutlery in Skyrim, rusted metal in Fallout, and now, the toilet paper in Starfield, aka Toiletfield.
One Starfield pirate has taken this misc. mission to a new extreme and built a literal throne room with hundreds of toilet paper rolls. "Some Pirates take valuables, others steal TP from all over the Settled Systems," the pirate General Jackass wrote on Reddit. "Behold my quilted hoard!"
Some pirates take valuables, others steal TP from all over the Settled Systems. Behold my quilted hoard! from r/Starfield
Building a throne room next to two literal sh***ers is hilarious, I’ll admit, until you remember that the rest of the universe probably needs some toilet paper, too. "Somebody suffered in the great TP shortage of 2020," one commenter joked, cracking those repressed memories out of their shell.
Again: hoarding misc items is a Bethesda player speciality at this point. Starfield hoarders have already flooded their ships with rubbish, overstuffed their storage with potatoes, and played dominos with literal sandwiches. How far is too far, though?
"It’s been many hours of collecting TP (at this point I value a box full of TP over a gold-tier weapon!)," explains General Jackass, "but the actual stacking probably took a couple of hours while I listened to podcasts." Aligning and decorating items in Starfield drives me crazy, but the toilet roll fan has a convincing process: "I found it pretty meditative and I used to stack coins like this as a kid, so it was interesting trying to do it without the tactile feel." The throne was built using 235 rolls, although the pirate is "still planning to add to my stash as I go."
For more sane pirate looting, check out Starfield’s secret “gold mine” location. Or peruse our best Starfield mods list for the weirder stuff.
