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  1. Games

PlayStation lost Brazil the World Cup!

News
By Matt Cundy
Published 23 May 2007

...and eight other stupid things blamed on videogames

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Blamed for... The second Tomb Raider movie bombing at the box office

It may have been a slight improvement over Lara Croft's big-screen debut, but the Tomb Raider movie sequel was still an absolute stinker. But rather than stand up and admit Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life's utter shitness as the sole reason for its resounding failure at the box office, where it flopped like afat guyin a swimming pool, Paramount movie execs went-a-huntin' for a scapegoat and they fixed their crosshairs on the not very good Tomb Raider game, Angel of Darkness.

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Watch full video here:

Above: Even Angelina Jolie's numerous talents couldn't save Cradle of Life from its doom

When asked about the film's disappointing $21.8 million first weekend takings, one squirming, Paramount weasel explained: "The only thing we can attribute that to is that gamers were not happy with the latest version of the Tomb Raider video game, which is our core audience." BULLSHIT!

Verdict: Videogames - guilty or not guilty?
Not guilty. This was shameless, corporate buck-passing at its most desperate andthe real - and blatantly obvious - reason Cradle of Life bombed was because the first film was truly God awful and the sequel had been soundly thrashed by almost every critic that had the misfortune of polluting their eyes by watching it. As a famous proctologist once said, you can't polish a turd. And we think he was speaking from experience.

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Matt Cundy
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I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.
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