Our boring masked heroes

You might remember our feature on the world’smost generic game characterwhere we created our own Frankenstein-like world-saving hero. We’ll go deeper than that - today we’re scrutinizing the generic hero’s face mask from the last year or so, which are constantly way too similar across titles.

Sculpted from Boring, our hero’s cross-sectioned face is modeled like he’s perpetually furrowing his brow. Curiously merging a paintball mask with a halogen light, he can bend the fourth dimension, but will you even remember his name? Our sources say no.

Army of Two
Fist-bumping terrorist slayers, Rios and Salem bling more than just their custom shotguns - they even attach flame decals to their helmets like a 12-year-old does to skateboards. Hey, it made Optimus Prime look “badass” in the Transformers movie. Surprisingly, there’s no protection for the back of their heads considering they’re generally being shot at from behind. No matter - “KILL ‘EM ALL! GYEAHHH.”

Avert your attention from the ropey muscle suit and direct your eyes to this hot shot’s flight mask. With no other explanation for the glowing red eyes, we bet he triggers it to alert his Korean enemies that he’s super pissed and about to chuck them over a mountain. Interestingly enough, Crytek has ditched the goofy helmet for their follow up - Crysis: Warhead. The bald-headed goon replacing the first guy is sort of a step up.

Dark Void
We’re not going to knock Capcom’s upcoming Rocketeer-sim too much because it looks pretty sweet, but that helmet’s vertical slit makes hero Will look like he’s got an asscrack on his face. Just sayin’.