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Whereas the original Ironclad (2011) boasted both stars and budget, this sequel has to survive on gall – and gore – alone.

The year is 1221 and Tom Rhys Harries’ family castle is under attack from bloodthirsty Celts, so he hires kick-ass cousin Tom Austen and his (very) dirty (quarter) dozen (including promising newcomer Twinnie Lee Moore) to sway this repetitive, understaffed siege directed by Jonathan English.

When they aren’t fighting (not bad), they’re talking about fighting (bad). Add in a fair few unintentionally funny lines, a lot of mascara and some atrocious dubbing; and what should have been a quick, exciting medieval skirmish starts to feel like the 100 Years War.

Matt Glasby is a freelance film and TV journalist. You can find his work on Total Film - in print and online - as well as at publications like the Radio Times, Channel 4, DVD REview, Flicks, GQ, Hotdog, Little White Lies, and SFX, among others. He is also the author of several novels, including The Book of Horror: The Anatomy of Fear in Film and Britpop Cinema: From Trainspotting To This Is England.