How to make the Best. Game. Characters. Ever

The bonnet from Mario Mario’s kart. No need to worry about an MOT when you’ve got a bumper that can withstand years of being pelted with koopa shells, banana skins and bolts of lighting.

The futuristic front of a Goteki WipEout hover ship. The sort of horsepower you need to win a sci-fi racing tournament, shave milliseconds off time trials on distant planets or when you need to get home for a piss.

Combining the pinnacle of bioengineering finesse with the best in secret agent-squishing technology, Metal Gear Gekko’s legs give our vehicle the manoeuvrability of a fine 4x4. Warranty void if shot by a railgun.

Easily the most unexciting, non descript component on the list, nevertheless the wheels of an Excite truck prove that flagrant false advertising can also provide a sturdy, assured ride.

A Warthog’s wheels give our vehicle durability and an ideal when you want to run over invading extra terrestrial forces/unfaithful spouses/your neighbours’ annoying pets.

What vehicle wouldn’t want the Blue Falcon’s thrusters? With these bad boys powering us along we’ll never have to back down from a reckless, Back to the Future III-style drag race again.

Minor spoiler, the Brumak technically becomes your vehicle at some point in Gears 2, so we’re not horribly crowbarring in a giant space monster for no reason. And with this fiend primed to eat parking attendants, tickets are a thing of this past.

MotorStorm’s reckless drivers are perfect for our vehicle. Reckless, cavalier and with clear suicidal tendencies, our driver represents is pure collateral. Just want you want when piling into a brick wall at g-force speeds.

Just what you want when you’re in the mood for an impromptu drug bust: Crackdown’s Peacekeeper Armoured Assault Vehicle. Nothing with 32% more garrotting capabilities from its death turrets.

The wings of a Warhawk allow this vehicle to harass jeeps on the ground and jumbo jets in the air. Ideal for the driver look to be a dick to every form of transport.

Nov 18, 2008

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