The Star Wars universe is full of heroes, villains, a slug-like crime lords, but who would you want as a lockdown buddy? Kylo Ren might seem fun at first, but you know he's going to get all moody on day two and start screaming at the TV. Rey seems like an angel, but you know she'd want you to work out all the time and insist on making kale smoothies at 7am. We asked the GamesRadar family who there pick would be, and only got one or two horny answers.
This is the latest in a series of big questions we'll be interrogating our writers with, so share your answers and suggestions for topics with us on Twitter.
First, to clarify, I'm talking about Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan of Episodes 2 and 3 of the Skywalker Saga. Not the rat-tailed keen bean of The Phantom Menace or Alec Guinness's curmudgeonly hermit of A New Hope, but the calm, collected, and suave Obi-Wan who represents the saving grace of George Lucas' prequel trilogy. Honestly, I'm choosing this guy because he's arguably the most normal Star Wars character out there. Sure, it's fun to speculate what kind of "kooky antics" you could get up to in lockdown with Jar Jar Binks or the Max Rebo Band, but do you really want to be cooped up with such unpredictable agents of chaos in these already uncertain times? No. Obi-Wan would be clean, well mannered, and respectable of personal space; exactly the kind of roommate ideal to hunker down with during the onset of a global pandemic. Alex Avard
Forget shooting the shit with Han Solo or dishing with Darth Maul. I’m thinking solely in practical terms here, and the diminutive droid has many, many uses that would come in handy during a lockdown sitch.
First up, Artoo makes a great leg-rest. And beer holder. Probably capable of storing snacks, too, if he didn’t move around too much. It’s also pretty handy that he has the entire events of Star Wars stored in his memory banks, so I could finally see that J.J. Cut if I ever plucked up the courage. We’ll probably fast forward through Attack of the Clones, mind.
Most of all, though, I bet he could tell some scandalous stories about C3-PO, all while swearing and bleeping like a motherblooper. If all else fails, he’d double up as a portable trash can. Win-win. Bradley Russell
Tell my cat to move over, because Baby Yoda is coming to our house. While the relentless pivot from bawling to screeching from next-door's kids during the lockdown is putting me on the verge of closing my ovaries forever, I cannot get over what looking at Baby Yoda does to my baby parts. I would feed him soup and frogs all day long, just to see his tiny little bottom lip do that thing that is does that makes hearts around the globe melt. I'll buy in loads of shiny round things, make him an entire ball pit of them to sit in. Maybe I'll even get to see what his dinky little toes look like under that oversized robe he's got going on. He could even use the Force to bring us snacks when we're both too busy watching Disney+ to get off the sofa. I mean, he's gotta catch up with the Star Wars canon somehow right?
Somehow this old man / toddler hybrid makes me happier than a small puppy can, and if I can't get a plushie for love nor money, I'll take the real thing goddamnit, and protect it with my life. Sam Loveridge
It can only be my brother from an intergalactic mother: the one and only Chewbacca. Particularly as that was my early-teens nickname, on account of having the most unruly hairstyle in the entirety of an 800-pupil school, and my tendency to communicate not with words, but a collection of grunts, groans, and moans. Dude, not that kind! I was 13. I figure old furface and I would have a lockdown hoot bonding over Return Of The Jedi’s underrated-ness, Attack Of The Clones’ utter-load-of-tripe-ness, and his comprehensive knowledge of every sports bar on Kashyyyk. Inevitably we’d slip some FIFA in too, where a multitude of patches mean he’d finally be able to enjoy career mode – unlike those of us who tried to get stuck into it upon release. Our team? Villarreal, naturally, given that their key striker happens to be our long-lost cousin: Carlos Bacca. Ben Wilson
Let's be honest, we all know why I've chosen Poe Dameron, and I'm sure no one on the team wants me to elaborate. However, the prompt calls for elaboration, and I will do my due diligence. Poe Dameron is My Type: a nice cocktail of masculine and feminine qualities shaken with perpetual horniness who'd be down to makeout with Zori Bliss one minute and Finn the next - that's the kinda spice you need in quarantine. Poe's like the Star Wars equivalent of April 25 - not too hot, not too cold, all I need is his flight jacket that he'll definitely let me keep after biting his lip and telling me it suits me.
Horniness aside, there's not many Star Wars characters I could imagine getting on with for too long in quarantine: Rey would never wash her dishes and track mud in everywhere, Luke's elaborate tea ritual would take up valuable kitchen space, Padme would be constantly judging me for rolling out of bed just before a Zoom call, Chewie would try to eat my cats, Ahsoka would show off how much more physically fit she is whenever I do my Peloton workouts, Kylo and I would get in a fistfight over which Dashboard Confessional song is the best, Maz Kanata would judge my questionable tattoos harder than my Yia-Yia, and Qui-Gon would take my wine bottle away after the fourth glass. Poe would be down to party, down to cuddle, and down to let me braid his hair. Alyssa Mercante
I wouldn't want to be stuck in quarantine with Luke because he's either a whiny baby or a judgy old hermit, depending on when you catch him. Miss me with that - I'm gonna shack up with Bigger Luke instead. If you aren't already aware, Bigger Luke exists at the center of the online equivalent of a conspiracy theorist's corkboard. His ardent believers maintain that, at various points in the original trilogy, it's clearly evident that a slightly larger version of Luke has taken the place of his standard-sized counterpart (usually this is established by measuring him next to Han Solo). There's an entire Wiki about Bigger Luke theory, it's completely cockamamie, and I love it. Anyway, the two reasons I'd want to go into lockdown with Bigger Luke are a) because he spends most of the time conspicuously absent and b) he'd have an easier time getting things off of shelves. Connor Sheridan
I can name approximately three Star Wars characters off the top of my head - that's on a good day - and the most interesting is by far Rozatta, the bounty hunter grandma from Star Wars Bounty Hunter. This PS2-era game represents roughly 95% of my Star Wars knowledge, and I always thought Rozatta was one of its most interesting characters. If I'm going to be stuck with an alien for weeks or months on end, it may as well be a kindly old alien grandma with tons of cool stories, life advice, and maybe even some recipes for alien cookies. How did she wind up in the bounty hunter trade? Where did she grow up? What's the secret to grade-A quarantine cookies? If nothing else, Rozatta must be more knowledgeable than Jango Fett, whose conversation topics pretty much begin and end with ways of shooting dudes and lighting them on fire - according to Star Wars Bounty Hunter the game, anyway. And I believe Star Wars Bounty Hunter the game. Austin Wood
The little droid who could from Respawn's saberbuckling adventure, Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, might not seem like the most obvious choice for a lockdown buddy, especially considering how rich the Star Wars universe is. But to overlook his obvious qualities would be very foolish indeed. For starters, he's the cutest droid in the Star Wars universe, which is saying something considering BB-8 exists. Secondly, his small size means he'll be able to help me clean those hard to reach places around the house which have defeated me so far. And most importantly, he would always be on hand with a healthy stim, which in this instance I'm going to assume has had the medicine replaced with alcohol, so I can get a nice quick drink on throughout the day/dusk/oh who am I kidding, time has lost all meaning now. Ben Tyrer
Jabba The Hutt
Doesn't everything about the chubby crime lord just suggest he'd be pretty chill to live with in lockdown? My physique is rapidly morphing into a copy of his luscious curves, so I know he'd never look at me askance when I cracked open another bag of stress combatting pita chips, and he'd never suggest we spend our ill-gotten gains on a Peloton. Sure, he's a bit shady what with the whole nefarious slavery and murder but he's got a sense of humor, and if Leia's gold bikini outfit is anything to go by, a hook up with an extremely creative and efficient fashion team. (You don't have something that tailored just lying around, let me tell you.) I'm not saying I want to marry him and have his baby slugs, I just want a no stress, snack positive lump to lean on in this hard time. It's not a sex thing. Rachel Weber
Look, things are weird right now, and all I can do in-between rounds of stress-eating and moving from the couch to my bed is try to figure out when the weirdness will go away. That's why the oldest, wisest, seen some shit-type Star Wars character needs to get his walking stick and hike his ass into my life pronto. Even if he doesn't know all the answers, Master Yoda's unflinching confidence in the face of uncertainty is just the sort-of emotional anchor I need in my life right now. And if it turns out I don't exactly jive with a 900-year-old alien, at least he won't take up a lot of room in my apartment. Jordan Gerblick
After my first pick was pinched by Alex (who wouldn't want to shack up with the oh-so-suave Obi-Wan from Revenge of the Sith?), I'd have to go with everyone's favourite scruffy-looking nerfherder. Han has been around the galactic block and knows how to have a good time. He'd be guaranteed to keep you entertained with all manner of outlandish stories, schemes, and games he's learned in the back alleys of Mos Eisley. Plus, he's the owner of the Millennium Falcon. Does that mean I could go into lockdown on the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy? Benjamin Abbott
Wicket the Ewok
I really miss my family dog, Freddie. In fact, I just miss having a pet around in general, and this feeling has only intensified over the past month or so. Outside of quite fancying the idea of shacking up with Han Solo or Princess Leia, my first thoughts turned to Wicket the Ewok from Return of the Jedi. He's basically a walking teddy bear that looks a bit like the Shih Tzu my Grandma had when I was growing up. Sure, we might not necessarily be able to have in-depth conversations, but I would find Wicket's presence incredibly comforting... and it would help make up for the fact that I don't have a dog or cat in my life that I can actually see in person. Heather Wald
Outside of Han and Lando, probably one of the coolest characters in Star Wars. Man, I bet he has some quality tales of mercenary-ing and bounty hunter-ing across the galaxy that we can delve right into during late lockdown nights over whiskey, cigars and poker. Speaking of which, he would know and have been to all of the most interesting, off-the-beaten track bars, clubs and, 'other' establishments, so would have a hell of a backlog of things to regale, but also probably get off his chest. Maybe he can use lockdown as a kind of confession with me. Anyway, he might not say much generally, but he's been there man. Can you imagine the collection of gear he's managed to collect over the years too; if there's one friend's slideshow I could sit through, I bet it'd be his. I bet he's into shooters too. Rob Dwiar
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