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The Top 7… E3 no shows

A full year ago Nintendo wrapped up its surprisingly pleasing press conference with a head-scratching, utterly baffling reveal of the Wii Vitality Sensor. The device looked like it came right out of a hospital, and other than measure your bio-energy (or whatever it was supposed to do), no clear reason for its existence was given. No games, nothing. Everyone simply nodded and assumed Nintendo would come back this year with some inane mass-market game, like Wii Health.

Above: Why?

Imagine our delight when Nintendo avoided the topic entirely. No one asked why, because no one cared. Instead, we got an amazing new handheld and several killer new games, most of which have nothing to do with motion controls or ridiculous peripherals that have dogged Nintendo’s offerings for so long. The best part? Ubisoft made their own.

Above: No really, why?

Yes, Ubi seemingly tried to beat Nintendo to the punch and come out with its own feel-good add-on at the same time. And guess what the reaction was to Innergy, the breathing game? A big fat yawn, that’s what. Can’t wait to read those Innergy leaderboards and find out who the world’s best breather is.

Above: Wow, this guy’s really good at breathing

Nintendo is in such a strong sales lead at this point, we wouldn’t be surprised if it showed off the Vitality Sensor to mess with people, just to see if anyone would copy it. They never had any intention of doing anything with it at all. When 2009 was filled with Natal and Move hype, someone at Nintendo could have easily said, “Dude dude dude dude… we should totally make something up, like some dumbass thing that reads your heartbeat and keeps score, just to make everyone else think we’re working on some amazing new thing that’s gonna sell a million copies*”

*roughly translated from the original Japanese

3. Beyond Good %26amp; Evil 2

You’ll have to forgive the gaming press for rallying behind Beyond Good & Evil. It was part of our job to play through the action-puzzle-stealth-photography caper. We’re firmly aware of the game’s greatness even though most of the gaming populace isn’t. Knowing the nature of the business, we were as shocked as anyone when Ubisoft announced it was going ahead with a sequel in spite of its grand scale commercial failure. Amidst the inner office cartwheels and celebratory high fives, there was certainly cause for trepidation.

Above: O’ Uncle, Where Art Thou?!

It’s been TWO YEARS since the Beyond Good & Evil 2 trailer was unveiled, and it’s been almost all speculation and whispers ever since. Recent rumors of Michel Ancel quitting and BG&E2’s coinciding “on hold” status had us holding a cautionary breath, but they were quickly - and officially! - dispelled by Ubisoft. Ancel’s name was even brought up in tandem with the newly announced Rayman Originsduring Ubi’s E3 conference.

Above: Leaked footage is all we have to confirm the game even exists… and that was over a year ago!

As one of the planet’s leading publishers, Ubisoft is well-oiled machine of French efficiency! Assassin’s Creed, Prince of Persia, and any title that can include Tom Clancy’s name get announced and they hit their release date almost every time. What Ubi says, happens. And We can see how the continued adventures of Jade and Pey’j might have to take a backseat the aforementioned blockbusters, but what better place would there have been than E3 to break the BG&E blackout than in front of an audience that would’ve been cried batshit tears of fanboy joy?!