What superpowers would the members of the SFX blogging team like to have? Alasdair Stuart moderates
Welcome back to Blogbusters, where every week the Blogging League of Bloggers answer the call to do great justice to the internet. Or answer a question pertinent to that particular week’s geek news, y’know, whichever you’d prefer. This week, our question is:
With Misfits back on our screens, what power would you want and why?
So without further ado, and because if we hang around too long, Prince will do the soundtrack, it’s time to take action. For justice! For geekdom! Quickly, to the Answermobile!
The power that I wish for the most on an almost daily basis is teleportation. Gosh, my life would be so much easier if I could instantly just be in the places I need to be. But then I think about what adventures the actual travelling around the country has been. When I went to the very first SFX Event many years ago with my sister and we played Buffy Top Trumps, geeky hangman and played a game on how loud we dared shout "KHHAAAAAAAANNNNN!" on the train (in a Dick’n’Dom - “Bogeys!”-stylee!). Sitting with my lovely boy on a train to Hi Ex in Inverness in the evening and seeing the most beautiful snow-covered landscape I have ever seen. Man, I wouldn’t swap that memory for the world. There remain the horrid frustrating trips where I’m late for work and my Metro has broken down because some blummin’ oink has twoked the copper cable again. But I think the fun ones outweigh the bad in a karmic scale, so I think a big fat no to teleportation.
Then the big ones like flying and telepathy and X-ray vision and super strength, and each time I think about possessing such powers I think about something Charlaine Harris wrote in one of her Sookie Stackhouse books, that if a government found out about you possessing a power they would use you and use you and never let you live your life as a normal person ever again. You would have no free will (I am paraphrasing) and man, where would the fun in that be?
So, after lots of thought and a little bit of angst to realise that my wish would be completely selfish and in no way benefit mankind in any way shape or form I would like the power of being able to eat anything I want – and I mean like entire chocolate cakes and fish and chips for breakfast – and never get fat. I know some people who have this power; I am entirely envious and want it for myself. I may be a bit worried about that karmic scale now.
Anyway, this question always reminds me of my favourite geek joke: Q: if you could have any superpower at all what would it be? A: America! Tee hee.
Lee Harris : I'd like the power to turn tomatoes blue. How cool would that be? Blue tomatoes!
And the Friday night drunken walk home would be a doodle. That is, as long as you’re sober enough to teleport into the right bedroom.
Super strength? Wow, I don’t need a jack to change a car tyre and I can carry all the shopping home with no trouble...
Mind reading? Yay I can find out that what people really think of me. Probably a two-edged sword that one...
Flying? Yeah, great, the feel of the wind in my face, the freedom... but then a 747 flies by and scares the crap out of me and I fly into a thunder storm.
No, teleportation is the one for me. By having the ability to travel to anywhere instantaneously imagine what you could do, where you could go and still be back in your own bed at night. Sod saving the world – I’d set up a courier service (guaranteed same day delivery anywhere in the world) to fund my travels, and I’d have all my deliveries done in the first half hour of each day, then I’d spend the rest of the day travelling the world, visiting interesting places and going where ever I pleased. A mid-morning walk on the Great Wall Of China, followed by lunch in a little restaurant in Mexico City – easy. Shopping in Milan, no problem. Maybe take a friend for a quick mid-afternoon snowball fight in Antarctica. And then a night on the town in Vegas or a show on Broadway. Just imagine the days and nights out you could have...
As dawn rises, the Blogbusters make their way back home, the City of Geekville defended for another night. Soon, the City will know us, soon the City will need us, if nothing else, to answer next week’s question, which is:
Whilst genre fiction still gets sniffed at by a lot of the mainstream
press, short genre fiction continues to thrive. What’s your favourite
fantasy, science fiction or horror short story and why?
See you then.