Agent Provocateur

Matt Damon is standing on an armchair, laughing gleefully, taking the piss out of Michael Bay. “He has that low-angle shot he loves to use,” he says, trashing the upholstery of an upmarket London hotel, “where he goes slo-mo in one direction and the actor turns in the opposite direction. It’s in every one of his movies. It’s in the fucking Rock, it’s in Armageddon, so you end up seeing this...” Cue Damon re-enacting a classic Bayism, with Total Film looking up for a camera’s-eye view of the actor striking a “heroic” pose, for just as long as he can keep a straight face. Which is about three seconds.

Bay, it’s fair to say, won’t be joining Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola and Kevin Smith on Damon’s list of collaborators. Particularly given the experience of his long-time best friend, Ben Affleck, on Pearl Harbor. “Ben kind of jumped off a cliff doing that,” says Damon. “As did the other actors. They were told: ‘This event is the loss of innocence for your country, so you really have to invest it with this wide-eyed hopefulness.’ Yet I felt the movie ended up being edited, by Bay, with some kind of MTV, year 2000 cynicism, which undercut the performances. What ends up happening is you get these people saying these saccharine things, you get a violin swell and it ends up looking like the actors aren’t pulling their weight. They got abandoned.”

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