7 Pant-Filling Movie Paintings
Ghostbusters II (1989)
The Scene: Vigo's the big bad in GBII so he gets more than a scene - but we particularly love the moment Ray (Dan Aykroyd) and Egon (Harold Ramis) recount the Carpathian's back story - his slaughterous slash across his native lands and the punishment meted out to him: 'he was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.'"
Oh, and his promise: ".Just before his head died, his last words were, 'Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back...'"
Why It's Scary: The Rasputin-style legacy is a creepy one, even though it's often undercut by the writers for comedy value, thanks to Pete Venkman (Bill Murray): "Wasn't he also Vigo The Butch?" But then he really comes to life...
Antiques Roadshow Appraisal: "Proud Vigo! You found him in an attic, you say?
"Well, it'll take a fair bit of restoration - someone needs to fixed this dried, slimy residue, but he'll soon be back to his former glory, and worth anything from £500,000 to £1 million.
"A few experts have surmised he's suffering from Carpathian kitten loss, but we think he's a little too angry for that to be the only reason."
The Witches (1990)
The Scene: An old Norwegian woman spins a tale for her grandson about a childhood friend, Erica who is snatched by a witch.
Trying to drill the signs of how to spot a broom-botherer into the boy, granny gives him the full scary story treatment.
Sadly the advice comes far too late for poor little Erica, who goes out shopping for milk - and ends up trapped in a painting. Because as we all know, witches don't murder children with knives or guns - that's for people who get caught.
Why It's Scary: The idea of being trapped forever in a painting would be terrifying for most kids, if only because there's no sign of a Nintendo Wii in the frame.
And it's a superbly spooky sequence with no need of jump shocks or gore.
Antiques Roadshow Appraisal: " You say this has been in your family for generations? Passed down from Norway? Fascinating!
"Note the image of the little girl peering helplessly from the cabin window. Legend has it she's a real girl, imprisoned there by a witch, but that's nonsense, of course.
Where will you put it? The kids' room? Good choice! Do you like my sensible shoes?"
The Haunting (1999)
The Scene: Eleanor Vance (Lili Taylor), along with a group of others (including sexy bisexual Catherine Zeta-Jones and Luke Wilson) is taking part in what they she thinks is a scientific study being run by weirdy doctor Liam Neeson.
But he hasn't told them the whole truth - and soon everyone is in danger from the haunted mansion. Poor Eleanor sees more than everyone else and no one believes her - at first.
They change their minds when the bag o' nerves learns she has a special connection to the house and portrait is vandalized with the bloody message "Welcome Home, Eleanor."
Why It's Scary: If the house itself wasn't already freaking everyone out, the idea that the artwork is talking to them is enough to get the knees knocking.
Antiques Roadshow Appraisal: "Ah, a magnificent piece here from the collection of Hugh Crain, formerly housed at Hill House.
"The ability of the former owner's spirit - some say partially housed within the portrait - to display messages can be a useful addition to any home - think of it as early text messaging.
"Just don't hang it near a chimney. Bad things can happen…"
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)
The Scene: Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) accepts a painting from Mrs Chalfont, one of the old ladies on her Meals On Wheels rounds.
It's a seemingly innocuous pic of a door slightly ajar, but once Laura goes to sleep, she dreams that Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) steps through the door into a strange, backwards red world inhabited by the Man From Another Place (Michael J Anderson).
After some mystery-aiding dialogue, Laura wakes (in the dream) to find Annie Blackburn next to her in bed, soaked with blood. Bet that'll be hell on the sheets.
Why It's Scary: Actually, it's a mix of freakish and frightening as director David Lynch cranks up the surreality.
Antiques Roadshow Appraisal: "Ah, yes… Mid-20th century, I'd say at first look.
"A little amateurish, but still quite lovely and blessed with some extraordinary abilities. Has it hung in the bedroom? You might want to have a tape recorder handy to jot down any odd dreams."
1408 (2007)
The Scene: If skeptical writer Mike Enslin (John Cusack) wasn't worried already (he is), the legendary room 1408 is about to crank up the terror.
After nearly freezing the man to death, the spooky chamber starts making watery/creaky sounds and he sees the various paintings in the room start to moisten. Chief among them is the image of a ship wracked by a terrible storm.
Cue gushing gouts of sea water rushing through the place. There goes his security deposit…
Why It's Scary: The idea that an entire room can be full of murderous spirits is bad enough; the concept of paintings coming to life just adds an extra level to it.
Antiques Roadshow Appraisal: "Now this is a strange one. Recovered, I believe, from a demolished hotel, the artist is unknown.
"Some of my colleagues are of the opinion that it's a cursed piece, but frankly it's only let down by some of the slightly OTT imagery. See the screaming man? Surely unnecessary.
"Based on its history, the nautical theme is perhaps best suited to the bathroom. You might want to avoid hanging it in the lounge unless you have good insurance coverage."
The Stendahl Syndrome (1996)
The Scene: Detective Anna Manni (Asia Argento) is on the trail of a serial killer. Sadly for her, he discovers he biggest weakness - thanks to Stendahl's Syndrome, she becomes dizzy and hallucinatory whenever she sees artistic masterpieces. So he traps her in a gallery.
But even before she reaches the place, she has an early freakout to Rembrandt's 1642 work Night Watch, which seems to come to life for her.
Why It's Scary: Technically, this one is only really scary to sufferers of the titular medical condition, but Argento ratchets up the fear factor thanks to some effective voice-over work and a cool effect of the painting melting.
Antiques Roadshow Appraisal: "Mr Rembrandt's Night Watch! However did you come to own it? Oh, I see - donated by an unknown patron, was it?
"Unfortunately for you, this is a priceless work or art that should be on display in Amsterdam. I'm calling the police! No, I don't accept that it's a print bought at an outlet shop…"
The Pagemaster (1994)
The Scene: You might not think that a kiddie adventure cartoon would have any truly worrying paintings, but Macaulay Culkin can prove you wrong.
During the live-action intro to the film, Culkin's loner is caught in a storm and takes shelter in a huge library.
While wandering around, he discovers the giant paintings that line the building's rotunda are starting to melt from their canvases, and soon he's being chased by a tidal wave of paint and a dragon intent on transporting him into a fictional world.
Why It's Scary: Mock all you like, but if the works in the National Gallery melted off the walls and swept you into a world where dragons are real, you wouldn't be so calm.
Antiques Roadshow Appraisal: "I'm sorry… I'm not sure why you've bothered with this. It looks cheap and while I'm sure a picture of Edgar Allen Poe is fine for fans, it… Is it…. melting…?
"Sweet Aspel's corset! It's swirling around me! What's that raven going to do… Wait… my eye! Yeaaaaargh!"
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