SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
The Movie: Four babies who communicate using highly clever ‘baby talk’ stumble onto a scheme by Jon Voight’s media mogul to kidnap kids.
Most Disturbing Detail: Sadly the last film to be directed by Bob Clark, who made the fantastic (and purposefully disturbing) 1974 Black Christmas .
Hoot (2006)
The Movie: When young Roy (Logan Lerman) moves to Florida, he decides to help fight to protect some endangered owls. All together now: ahhhhh.
Most Disturbing Detail: The fact that it’s not a hoot at all?
Santa With Muscles (1996)
The Movie: A so-called ‘family comedy’ starring Wrestling ace Hulk Hogan as a man who gets amnesia and starts to believe he’s Santa.
Most Disturbing Detail: Hulk Hogan’s bronzed chest bursting out of a Santa costume.
Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders (1996)
The Movie: Merlin opens up a shop in present day America, despite being a British legend. Most disturbing is the film’s tone, which switches from safe family fun to pretty graphic violence.
Most Disturbing Detail: It’s just really messed up. People dying, cats getting burnt alive, demonic toys…
The Magic Roundabout (2006)
The Movie: Brit CGI flick that pretty much destroyed a generation’s childhood memories. The plot followed Dougal, who goes on a mission to save Florence from ZeeBad.
Most Disturbing Detail: The subtle drug references.
Thomas And The Magic Railroad (2000)
The Movie: A mash-up of the original Thomas The Tank Engine series with the American show Shining Time Station . The result is an oddity that never manages to satisfy the audiences of both.
Most Disturbing Detail: Director Britt Allcroft says the film was taken out of her hands and butchered. We believe her.
The Sandlot 2 (2005)
The Movie: Young baseball fans have hilarious adventures in 1972, including having to retrieve a model rocket from Mr Mertle’s back garden, where a large dog lives.
Most Disturbing Detail: James Earle Jones is in it. Why, James, why ?!
3 Ninjas (1992)
The Movie: A martial arts comedy, infamous in cult circles as one of the worst films ever made. The plot follows three brothers who are taught martial arts by their grandpa.
Most Disturbing Detail: It somehow spawned three sequels.
Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny (1972)
The Movie: Santa calls on the help of some local kids when his sleigh gets caught in the sand of a Florida beach.
Most Disturbing Detail: The child actors - though the word ‘actor’ is perhaps too generous a label for them.
Shark Tale (2004)
The Movie: CGI animation starring Will Smith as a fish who claims he’s killed a shark. The only saving grace is a one-note joke in Martin Scorsese’s casting as a loan shark.
Most Disturbing Detail: Angelina Jolie as Lola. She puts Glee ’s Trouty Mouth to shame.
What’s the worst kids movie you’ve ever seen? Share it with us (if you really must) below…
