50 Worst Kids Movies

North (1994)

The Movie: Elijah Wood plays the titular kid, whose parents are constantly arguing, and who’s having a bit of a rough time of it. Fittingly, the film was treated just as roughly on release.

Most Disturbing Detail: Bruce Willis in a bunny outfit. Dammit, we’re definitely going to have nightmares tonight.

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

The Movie: Different medium, same story, as the Mario brothers set out on a quest to save Princess Daisy from the villainous Koopa.

Most Disturbing Detail: Seeing Bob Hoskins as Mario. Just wrong.

Son Of The Mask (2005)

The Movie: Much-belated sequel to the Jim Carrey original. This one has Jamie Kennedy donning the mask and making a fool of himself.

Most Disturbing Detail: The involvement of Alan Cumming as Loki. Where’s Tom Hiddleston when you need him?

Problem Child (1990)

The Movie: So irritating it’s actually painful to write about it. Michael Oliver plays Junior, an orphan who revels in causing chaos wherever he goes.

Most Disturbing Detail: John Ritter actually signed up to it. John, you were better than this.

Daddy Day Care (2003)

The Movie: Aren’t dad’s hilarious?! They just don’t have any idea how to handle their kids. Or, at least, that’s what Eddie Murphy clearly thinks – why else would he sign up for this sorry chuckle vacuum?

Most Disturbing Detail: It’s cripplingly unfunny.

School Gyrls (2010)

The Movie: A Nickelodeon movie directed by actor/singer Nick Cannon, and starring pop band School Gyrls. And Justin Bieber. It was mauled by critics.

Most Disturbing Detail: Justin Bieber. ‘Nuff said.

Pod People (1983)

The Movie: More kids meet ETs, as a young boy discovers a friendly alien in the woods who might not actually be all that friendly.

Most Disturbing Detail: The film’s script was totally overhauled in the wake of E.T. – instead of killer aliens, we got a cute kid and an adorable alien. Ick.

Pinocchio (2002)

The Movie: Italian version of the classic fairytale which, bizarrely, starred (very much grown up) director Roberto Benignia as the little boy made of wood. The English dubbed version was nominated for six Razzies.

Most Disturbing Detail: That strange casting decision.

Kazaam (1996)

The Movie: Basketball player Shaquille O'Neal has a go at acting, playing a muscular genie who lives in a… magic… boombox…

Most Disturbing Detail: The desperate attempt to hip the Aladdin formula up for the youth of today.

The Magic Land Of Mother Goose (1967)

The Movie: Storybook characters break free of their pages to pop up in the real world. And that’s about it.

Most Disturbing Detail: It was all shot on the stage of a high school. And it shows.

Josh Winning has worn a lot of hats over the years. Contributing Editor at Total Film, writer for SFX, and senior film writer at the Radio Times. Josh has also penned a novel about mysteries and monsters, is the co-host of a movie podcast, and has a library of pretty phenomenal stories from visiting some of the biggest TV and film sets in the world. He would also like you to know that he "lives for cat videos..." Don't we all, Josh. Don't we all.