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National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
American Pie (1999)
Original Line: “This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.”
Edited Version: “This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my mouth.”
That Michelle, she crazy.
Slackers (2003)
Original Line: “You crazy-ass bi-atch.”
Edited Version: "You scaly bass fi-ash."
Just genius.
Shark Attack 3: Megaladon (2002)
Original Line: "Yeah, but I'm still pretty wired. Why don't you come back to my place and I eat your pussy?"
Edited Version: "Why don't you come back to my place and watch I Love Lucy ?"
Seductive. Nobody can resist I Love Lucy.
Nobody.
Casino (1995)
Original Line: “Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you!”
Edited Version: “Get this through your head, you Jew money lover, you!”
Yes, Casino appears twice – these two are just too good not to include.
Particularly in this instance, in which the dubbed line is waaay more offensive. Waaaaay.
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Original Line: “Hand me the keys you fucking cock-sucker.”
Edited Version: “Hand me the keys you fairy godmother.”
Perfect for use in everyday life.
Die Hard 2 (1990)
Original Line: “Yippe-kai-yay, motherfucker!”
Edited Version: “Yippe-kai-yay, Mr Falcon!”
The censorship bods actually renamed a character in Die Hard 2 in an attempt to give this line some meaning.
Do The Right Thing (1989)
Original Line: “Motherfucker!”
Edited Version: “Mickey fickey!”
Somebody's been taking Jive-talk lessons from Airplane!
The Big Lebowski (1998)
Original Line: “See what happens when you F a stranger in the A!?”
Edited Version: “See what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”
Apparently you get your car smashed in is what happens. Stay away from those Alpine strangers, kiddies.
Good Will Hunting (1997)
Original Line: Will: "Does this violate the doctor-patient agreement?"
Sean: "Only if you grab my ass."
Edited Version: Will: "Does this violate the doctor-patient agreement?"
Sean: "Only if I turn around."
Oh my, that doesn't defuse any sexual tension at all. In fact, it's arguably makes it worse.
