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Toshio (Ju-On: The Grudge)
Joshua Cairn (Joshua)
The Spooky Kid: A young fogey of the worst variety, when Joshua isn’t pushing elderly relatives down the stairs, he’s dressing like a middle-aged man on his way to the House of Commons. Regrettable behaviour across the board.
If They Were An Adult: He’d be in the Conservative party. For sure.
The Brood (The Brood)
The Spooky Kids: The murderous offspring of Nola Carveth, who turn their rage on anyone unfortunate enough to displease their mother. The kindergarten scene is one that lingers particularly long in the mind…
If They Were Adults: God knows how devastating they would be. The kids can do enough damage as it is!
Ralphie Glick (Salems Lot)
The Spooky Kid: Poor little Ralphie gets turned into a vampire very early in the movie, and then scares seven shades out of his brother by floating outside his window. Yikes!
If They Were An Adult: The aforementioned scene wouldn’t be quite so scary, somehow.
There something about how his little body fits perfectly into the window frame…
The Twins (The Shining)
The Spooky Kid: The twin girls that Danny sees standing in one of the Overlook’s labyrinthine corridors… and then lying hacked up on the floor.
If They Were Adults: They’d obviously have escaped the hotel and wouldn’t have met a sticky end, courtesy of a well-aimed axe. They might have started dressing individually, too.
Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family)
The Spooky Kid: The oddly-named eldest of the Addams offspring, who enjoys nothing better than trying to off her tubby younger sibling, Pugsley.
If They Were An Adult: If Morticia is anything to go by, she’d still be dressing in black, but she’d probably have outgrown the attempted fratricide. Probably.
Lonnie (Deliverance)
The Spooky Kid: The banjo-playing oddball at the beginning of the movie. There’s charmingly precocious and then there’s downright weird…
If They Were An Adult: We’ve seen what his ilk get up to once they outgrow musical instruments. Squeal, piggie…
Danny Torrance (The Shining)
The Spooky Kid: Yeah we know he’s the member of the Torrance family we’re supposed to be rooting for, but he’s still creepy as hell! Redrum redrum REDRUM!
If They Were An Adult: He’d probably be a bit big for that tricycle, which would be something of a blessing…
Regan MacNeil (The Exorcist)
The Spooky Kid: Poor old Regan plays host to a powerful demon that has her getting up to all sorts of antics that no well-brought-up girl would ever dream of performing…
If They Were An Adult: The crucifix scene would be marginally less troubling. Marginally…
Damien Thorn (The Omen)
The Spooky Kid: The mop-topped son of Satan himself, who just can’t help himself when there’s an opportunity for a spot of murder. The little scamp.
If They Were An Adult: Presumably he’d grow steadily more powerful, and would graduate beyond pushing women over banisters into full-on genocide.
