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A photo showing a smiling Hideo Kojima standing in front of a Kojima Productions logo following the Physint reveal
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  1. Games

5 places Kojima could end up now

Features
By Joe Skrebels published 19 March 2015

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

Kojim-er?

Kojim-er?

Today, the internet went (ahem) nuclear for a short while as rumours of Hideo Kojima leaving Konami and, perhaps, the Phantom Pain's development spread. At time of writing, we still don't quite know what's happened, but this is the 21st Century - no one waits for facts any more. I bring you cast-iron conjecture, straight from the horse's mouth, plucked from the grapevine and dredged from a slurry pit in darkest Wales. Where could Hideo be heading? Read on and be pre-emptively shocked.

Page 1 of 6
Page 1 of 6
He's joined the cast of the new Twin Peaks

He's joined the cast of the new Twin Peaks

Kojima's never been shy about the odd Lynchian flourish here and there. Maudlin surreality sneaks its into every project he makes, and his interest in films is well-known. Where else, then, for gaming's strangest auteur than alongside his filmic equivalent, and on the man's most eagerly-anticipated project since his Ice Bucket Challenge? No word yet on casting, but I reckon it'll be the Log Lady - Hideo's the only person who'd be able to confuse us with bizarre storytelling quite as much.

Page 2 of 6
Page 2 of 6
He's on a round-the-world boat trip with David Hayter

He's on a round-the-world boat trip with David Hayter

If Kojima feels in some way aggrieved by Konami, then he has a kindred spirit in ol' Snake-lips. Hayter's been out of the Metal Gear fold for a good time now, so he'll be able to help his old boss accustom to a life where you don't have to consider the metaphysical ramifications of one man's arm taking over the brain of another. A nice long voyage would suit them both, but I'm guessing Kojima will make Hayter act like the ship's figurehead, just because he can.

Page 3 of 6
Page 3 of 6
He's actually Nintendo's new console

He's actually Nintendo's new console

The mystery surrounding Nintendo's new NX gaming platform fits perfectly and conveniently with Kojima's M.O. You only need to look at Joakim Mogren and the announcement of The Phantom Pain to see how much he loves a teasing reveal. My guess? Kojima's body will be painstakingly recreated in silicon and used as a real-life sparring partner for games. You know what's more revelatory than the first time your grandma plays Wii Sports Tennis? Watching her play actual tennis using the pseudo-clone of a middle-aged Japanese man as a racket.

Page 4 of 6
Page 4 of 6
He's created a line of ready-to-eat meals

He's created a line of ready-to-eat meals

Kojima loves food - his Twitter feed will attest to that. It's only natural that a man of his means take the next step and share his favourite meals with the masses. The "Hideo's" range will promise to release only food good enough that Kojima would choose to tweet some baffling words about it. The range will test the market with the Farewell Sausage, before moving onto this gross fish burger thing. Also, all the food might release nanomachines into your blood.

Page 5 of 6
Page 5 of 6
He's met his destiny

He's met his destiny

I'm sorry, but it looks like the man who wanted us to take the phrase "la-li-lu-le-lo" seriously, might just have disappeared where he threatened to for so many years - up his own arse.

Page 6 of 6
Page 6 of 6
Joe Skrebels
Joe Skrebels
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Joe first fell in love with games when a copy of The Lion King on SNES became his stepfather in 1994. When the cartridge left his mother in 2001, he turned to his priest - a limited edition crystal Xbox - for guidance. And now he's here.
See more Games Features
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A photo showing a smiling Hideo Kojima standing in front of a Kojima Productions logo following the Physint reveal
Hideo Kojima thought up Physint when he became sick during the pandemic and "realised that a lot of people wanted me to make something like Metal Gear"
Death Stranding 2
Hideo Kojima says "I always think of other, more weird stuff to make" but he can't just do that when it also has to sell or "my studio will go bankrupt"
Death Stranding 2
Hideo Kojima says Metal Gear spiritual successor Physint is still "another five or six years" away, and that he may finally direct a movie after
Screenshot of Kojima Productions' OD (Overdose) showing actor Sophia Lillis' disturbing Unreal Engine 5 screentest
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