30 things to do in the first hour of Hitman: Absolution

Features
By published

So much potential for japery...

10. He's fallen in the water!

11. Recreate The Lord of the Flies

You can pull this poor chap out of the window while he's talking on his phone. On this occasion, he landed on his back across that rock by the sea giving us a sudden William Golding moment.

12. Turn on the sprinklers

Worth it for a laugh. Turn on the sprinklers in the greenhouse and everyone gets a wet head, deciding to leave the room instead of confronting you.

13. Test the food (with bullets)

Once you're inside the house, there's loads to see and do. Using your silenced handgun, you can shoot at things in the kitchen. Apples explode, but cheese absorbs bullets, apparently. We suggest someone starts making body armour out of this stuff.

14. Jim Sterling? Really?!

Examine the records lying around in the main room and you can see that this one quite clearly says 'Jim Sterling'. Surely not outspoken games journalist and GamesRadar contributor Jim Sterling? We didn't know he played guitar...

15. Admire the art

There are several large paintings hung around the walls of the house. There's the overall artistic merit to take in...

16. Pretend you're Cameron from Ferris Bueller

...or you could just zoom in on the texture until it just turns into coloured flecks. Fun if you're a fan of 1980s movies.

17. Open the shutters

Your first stop should be the upstairs balcony. Quietly dispose of the guard, then hit the shutters button to watch the room fill with light. It's gorgeous and also disrupts the guards' patterns. But wait... what did we do with the guard that was here?

18. Create some artificial slobbery

Pushing the guard's body over the balcony often results in an incredible landing that makes it look like he's lounging in the comfy sofa below. Brilliant.

19. The most relaxing bath ever

Having taken a guard's clothes as a disguise, careful shooting can arrange his body in a 'taking a bath' position. But we did it wrong and made it look like he'd drowned in a terrible bathtime accident. Oops.

Justin Towell
Justin Towell
Freelance Writer

Justin was a GamesRadar+ staffer for 10 years but is now a freelance writer, musician and videographer. He's big on retro, Sega and racing games (especially retro Sega racing games) and currently also writes for Play Magazine, Traxion.gg, PC Gamer and TopTenReviews, as well as running his own YouTube channel. Having learned to love all platforms equally after Sega left the hardware industry (sniff), his favourite games include Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams, Zelda BotW, Sea of Thieves, Sega Rally Championship and Treasure Island Dizzy.