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Labyrinth (1986)
Reality: Teenage girls babysit their infant siblings and rant about the injustice of it all but nothing changes. Except nappies.
The Movie Reality: A mystical world of goblins, talking worms and giant furry monsters held within a giant labyrinth manifests after hearing the cries of a moody adolescent. Power ballad maestro, The Goblin King, whisks babies away to his castle.
If We Lived In The Movies: Each time anyone whinged about doing something they didn’t like, they’d run the risk of turning up in a labyrinth just to be taught a lesson.
Southland Tales (2006)
Reality: The last World War ended in 1945 and since then no nuclear attacks have occurred in the southern United States.
The Movie Reality: In July 2005, two nuclear attacks on Texas cause the United States to strike out, inciting World War III. This leads to a worldwide fuel shortage, and greater monitoring of US citizens personal habits.
If We Lived In The Movies: The wait at the petrol station would be considerably longer than it is now.
1984 (1984)
Reality: People are free to think and say what they like. Mostly.
The Movie Reality: UK citizens are under constant surveillance from the Thought Police, a body governed by The Party, who monitor people’s independent thought which is now deemed a crime.
Workers at The Ministry of Truth, rewrite history so it aligns with the parameters of The Party.
If We Lived In The Movies: Everyone’d be wearing tin foil hats.
The Thirteenth Floor (1999)
Reality: Most virtual reality experiences occur through visual stereoscopic displays and are often for specific training routines.
The Movie Reality: During the 1990s, a billionaire inventor creates a virtual reality simulation of 1937 Los Angeles kitted out with humans who’ve no idea they’re a bunch of zeroes and ones in a gigantic database. Of course, the 1990s world too is a simulation.
It all gets rather Russian doll-like.
If We Lived In The Movies: Offering a cheaper, immediate alternative to pricey time travel, being able to pop back to a certain time would become a rewarding way for school children to learn about history.
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Reality: If you go down to the woods today... then there’s likely going to be trees, grass and lichen.
The Movie Reality: In 1944 Spain, an overgrown labyrinth exists with a giant faun as a guide (who is utterly terrifying yet one of the good guys), an albino monster with hand-eyes, and a huge belching toad.
Still more preferable than hanging around with that bastard Captain.
If We Lived In The Movies: Heading for a camping trip is now twice as terrifying as you’ve also just watched The Blair Witch Project .
The NeverEnding Story (1984)
Reality: As much as librarians sell books to kids by promising them a doorway into another world, they don’t literally mean it.
The Movie Reality: A fictional storybook world called Fantasia, is on the brink of extinction if scrappy warrior Atreyu can’t stop the evil force of The Nothing from wiping it out.
While reading the book, a young boy called Bastian becomes entwined with the story world and follows his literary counterpart, Atreyu as he traverses melancholic swamps and battles monsters.
If We Lived In The Movies: Libraries and bookstores would become flooded with single gals all desperate for a copy of 50 Shades Of Grey .
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
Reality: Animated characters exist solely on TV as part of Saturday morning cartoon-watching rituals held by children the world over.
The Movie Reality: Cartoon characters referred to as “toons” are real living beings who mingle peacefully with humans. Much like people act in movies, ‘toons star in their own cartoons.
If We Lived In The Movies: Taxes would skyrocket to cope with the collateral damage caused by Wile E. Coyote’s tomfoolery.
12 Monkeys (1995)
Reality: Between 1996 and 1997 no catastrophic global pandemics occurred. Apart from Spice World: The Movie . Yeesh.
The Movie Reality: Between 1996 and 1997, a deadly virus is exposed to the world’s population killing millions. This in turn causes the planet to turn into an ash-filled dystopia where humans can only exist underground, as deadly airborne particles are present in the atmosphere.
And lots of animals wander about.
If We Lived In The Movies: We’d never get that fresh windy smell in bed sheets again, what with only being able to use tumble dryers.
Tron (1982)
Reality: Computers are guarded by highly sophisticated firewalls which are programmed and accessed through the computer screen interface.
The Movie Reality: Following the theft of his video games, Kevin Flynn sneaks into his competitor’s system to retrieve them. Once inside, the Master Control Program digitises him into the mainframe where he battles against the programs who appear as their human creators.
If We Lived In The Movies: Battling the blue screen of death would bring on a whole new level of catharsis, as frustrated computer users could literally face the blue screen in human form.
Fatherland (1994)
Reality: World War II came to an end when Allied forces won the invasion in Normandy and thousands of war criminals were brought to justice after the holocaust.
The Movie Reality: Takes place in a 1964 where Germany won the war, and are currently battling with the Soviet Union, while desperately trying to recruit the forces of the United States to overthrow Stalin. German leaders attempt to cover up the holocaust.
If We Lived In The Movies: We’d all be speaking German.
