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  1. Entertainment
  2. Movies

25 Movies That Hate London

Features
By Ivan Radford
Published 31 May 2013

There’s no place like… that one that was destroyed.

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Gorgo (1961)

The Damage: What do you do with a large mutant lizard? Parade him through Trafalgar Square on the back of a lorry – a trail that foreshadowed the ruin wrought upon the city by Gorgo’s mum, Ogra, in this 1961 giant monster movie. Wading up the Thames, she knocks down Tower Bridge like it’s made of matchwood, before her paper mache claws make mincemeat of Big Ben, wipe out most of Whitehall, vaporise Piccadilly Circus and even clobber the premises of L.T. Robinson & Son: Watch Makers.

Destructometer: 10/10

Reign of Fire (2002)

The Damage: Holy mother of dragons, London isn’t let off lightly here: Rob Bowman’s blockbuster reduces the entire cityscape to ashen skeletons after planned engineering works unearth a dragon’s den under the city. “This town’s gone to hell,” says Christian Bale as a winged beast soars in front of the charred remains of Tower Bridge and St Paul’s. He’s not wrong.

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Destructometer: 10/10

Flood (2007)

The Damage: Flood is a film about a catastrophic flood that floods the United Kingdom. Sure enough, the flooding reaches the capital city, where even the Thames Barrier cannot stop it, leaving London half-submerged in floodwater. Trafalgar Square, the Underground, the Houses of Parliament; all of them completely flooded.

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Destructometer: 8/10

28 Days Later (2002)

The Damage: Danny Boyle’s modern horror focuses less on the structural damage and more on the human cost: as Cillian Murphy wanders around a deserted city, we see buses toppled on the Mall and cars abandoned in Piccadilly Circus, but no sign of major structural damage. The effect remains startling.

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Destructomer: 0/10

The War of the Worlds (1953)

The Damage : “The people of Britain met the invaders magnificently,” explains The War of the Worlds’ narrator, but neglects to show us footage of the actual battle after relocating the H.G. Wells novel to America. We are told the Martians are “unavailing” in one worldwide montage, but it can’t be that bad: the narrator also adds that the British Cabinet remained in session in the Houses of Parliament throughout.

Destructometer: 3/10

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

The Damage: Well, all of it. The bridges, the houses, the trains, the people. Everything. And not just London: the entire planet, gone, in the blink of an eye. Such is the efficiency of hyperspace bypass construction.

Destructometer: 11/10

Mars Attacks! (1996)

The Damage: Poor Big Ben. In 1996, he was annihilated again, this time by Martians intent on demonstrating their power to the human race. Launching a worldwide invasion, they prove their intergalactic strength on British soil the only way Hollywood knows how: by knocking down a really big clock.

Destructometer: 5/10

Mars Attacks!
$11.32at Amazon
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$15.98at Amazon

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

The Damage: The Thames itself gets it when the Silver Surfer opens a sinkhole right by Westminster Bridge. The force of it is enough to dislodge the London Eye, causing its spindle to break away from the cantilevered hub, the cables flailing against the windows of London County Hall.

Destructometer : 5/10

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
$9.99at Walmart

The Day the Earth Caught Fire (1961)

The Damage: A series of nuclear bomb tests by the Soviet Union and America leave the Earth spinning out of orbit towards the sun, a path that causes London to heat up uncontrollably.

In scenes that prefigure 28 Days Later , the deserted capital’s buildings are all in tact, but the river has evaporated, leaving the cracked banks and vacant landmarks glowing a shade of orange brighter than the most explosive Hunger Games logo.

Destructometer: 4/10

The Time Machine (1960)

The Damage: “The labour of centuries gone in an instant…” Everything seems fine in 1966 London, until time-travelling George realises that atomic satellites are on the way to decimate the world. We see no familiar landmarks but the satellites don’t spare the little people, burning homes, toppling tiny bridges, and finally drowning everything in molten lava – futuristic monorail and all.

Destructometer : 10/10

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