Video game villains who got away with it

The digital dastards who did the dirty and lived to tell the tale

People like to see good triumph over evil. It's the reason Superman always wins despite getting stabbed in the face with shards of Kryptonite. Why John McClane beats a skyscraper full of heavily-armed terrorists with nothing but a string vest. And why those pesky S.T.A.R.S. agents always get the better of the T-virus. Sometimes, though, there are games brave enough to spit in the face of convention and let their no gooders go unpunished. And we're all for it. After all, who wouldn't want to be any of the following victorious villains?

Like shady politicians, these assholes always manage to manoeuvre themselves onto the winning side. Humanity’s getting kicked in the crotch by the Covenant? They’re in. Oh, Master Chief and his pals have offed most of their alien allies, you say? Well, they're all about people power. Go humanity! Granted, the Prophets may have screwed them over by replacing them with the Brutes. But Elites are still mercenaries who always seem to get away with their dastardly acts by being shameless opportunists.

Above: Honourable to the last

Despite repeated acts of kidnapping and terrorism, the Robert Mugabe of the Mushroom Kingdom never seems to face any jail time or significant punishment for his evil ways. Nintendo citizens don’t even seem to mind that the king of the Koopas has tried to enslave most of them at one time or another. And they’re more than happy to play a round of golf, a spot of tennis or get crazy with him at a party when this baddy’s got some down time.

Above: 'Hard time' in the the Mushroom Kingdom penial system

The killer karate master who likes to orphan kids in his free time, Shenmue’s prime antagonist is pure evil we tells ya! What’s worse, with Sega now more concerned with getting Sonic laid and beating fat plumbers at Olympic sports, Lan’s rampant stealing of ancient artifacts and acts of homicide are set to go unchecked. It’s the equivalent of Eggman nicking all the Chaos Emeralds, brutally killing Tails, then the big S rewarding him with retirement and an evil doer’s pension plan.

Above: Just punishment for any murderer

Dupe goodie into thinking you’re a benevolent force who’s going to bring back his dead bint to the union? Check. Manipulate said goodie into killing sixteen tame titans for you? Check. Get mildly slapped on the wrist for evil ways when you and goodie get resurrected as a baby? Double check. Colossus’ devious demon lord isn’t exactly a cautionary tale for lying bastards. And getting a second chance at life through deceit and treachery just proves nice guys finish last.

Above: Baby Dormin - what more could a parent ask for?

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