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Trailer Trash 6

This week, we encountered a preponderance of trailers and teasers that are all hype and no content. The games may be fantastic, but we’ll never know based on the paltry glimpses of gameplay these videos afford.

(*not a guarantee)

Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits



Regardless of how good or bad this Guitar Hero On Tour expansion might be, the trailer is all kinds of wrong. In 54 seconds, we get one quick peek at the game playing on a tiny, spinning DS.  Obviously, the brand and the attitude are more important than, you know, the actual level of fun that might be achieved by playing the game. If you’re not going to show the game, let’s at least have a supermodel in her panties. Stay on message, people!



Need for Speed: Nitro



 Another trailer that’s long on sizzle and short on actual gameplay. We’ll be quite impressed if NFS: Nitro (coming soon to Wii and DS) ends up looking as good in action as it does in these pre-rendered clips. We sure don’t want anyone to have unrealistic expectations about the Wii’s graphical prowess.

Aliens vs Predator



We’re as excited as the next bloke for a shiny new Aliens vs Predator explodaganza. But all this teaser does is struggle to scare us with typography and sound effects. Animated text is great, but please follow it up with more than a split-second flash of “weaponry.” Unless the three screenshots that were concurrently released are totally doctored, plenty more game exists than what this teaser shows. So let’s see it already!


Above: Oh shit! A ray of light!! Probably some kind of righteous death-beam


Above: Wait, it was just the I in… OMIGOD Electric Blue?!?!? 


Above: Oh, it’s the logo. What you did there? We see it

15 comments

  • sundaysupreme - May 25, 2009 7:20 p.m.

    why did an ad popup when watching that wiiware title asking me if I would like to find Gay Muscly men in y area?
  • Analogic - May 25, 2009 12:33 p.m.

    Way to go EA, putting Danko Jones into your NFS Nitro trailer!
  • RedOutlive10 - May 23, 2009 2:24 p.m.

    I hope that new Alien versus Predator game won't be a flop. Monolith did a freaking awesome job with AvP2, the marine campaign was a blast.
  • iKOemos - May 23, 2009 1:17 a.m.

    Brutal Legend is gonna kick all kinds of ass.
  • Corsair89 - May 22, 2009 11:29 p.m.

    @ fregfighter: actually, Cho Aniki was the first.
  • PinkLenny - May 21, 2009 9:41 p.m.

    wow that last one looks sick time to hit up ebay
  • adrenaguy - May 24, 2009 12:26 a.m.

    that nuscle one looks freaking awesome, where do i get an english text translated one?
  • Blackbird - May 23, 2009 10:57 p.m.

    Gotta love the muscle kings wanking...
  • oryandymackie - May 22, 2009 7:46 p.m.

    Come on, that Japanese WiiWare ad must be a spoof!! And in the UK, for Heidi Klum, we get her just in her robe, yours is an extended version. Oh, how I hate Guitar Hero
  • fergfighter - May 22, 2009 5:34 p.m.

    wow, the first game ever made for homosexual men, i guess dreams can come true! =D joke. i like the look of brutal legend tho (Y)
  • Cyberninja - May 22, 2009 11:22 a.m.

    what were they somking when they made the last one from japan
  • NipplesTheSuperHippo - May 22, 2009 4:52 a.m.

    I kinda feel bad for Heidi Klum. I wonder if she knows that the people who made that commercial were just like "Hey we need something to help our game sell; what do gamers like? Um they like women and they like boobs! Yes we need more boobs. I've got it, giggle them around a bit. Wait, we still need our game in there somewhere; we can add a g-tar somewhere later, but man, let’s have her take off everything she is wearing! Crap, America doesn’t do the nude T.V. stuff do they? Well, her panties are good enough." Not that I’m complaining though, Heidi is somk’n hot. Also, the Jack Black thing would have been funnier if he hadn’t come on the Spike Game awards stage with a giant flamethrower yelling "F'n Tim Shafer!" and how Brutal Legends was going to be the best GAME ever!
  • Spybreak8 - May 22, 2009 3:04 a.m.

    That anime one was pretty cool but needed subtitles. Dude your mom!!!! Fire all lasers!
  • kubes - May 21, 2009 9:59 p.m.

    lol at jack black

Showing 1-15 of 15 comments

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