Trailer Trash #4

Your weekly dose of awful game videos

Words: on May 7, 2009
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Another week, another heaping pile of terrible videogame trailers. Somehow, our inboxes never stop filling up with this crap. Actually, we’ve padded out this week’s Trailer Trash with a generous helping of our own custom stuff – jump ahead to page 3 for some of that action. Without further ado, the trash.

Army of Two: The 40th Day – Trailer

This trailer tells you right off the bat that, “The following is all in-game footage.” So, it looks like core elements of gameplay will be slow panning, glitchy “bad reception” effects and reading shit off of papers that fly by. Can’t wait!

 

Star Trek D-A-C – Trailer

A shameless attempt to connect the hype and energy of the film with a derivative top-down shooter. Didn’t you learn anything from Battlestar: Galactica’s arcade suckfest?

 

Velvet Assassin – Kill reel

This “kill reel” is a lot like those movie trailers where by the end you feel like you’ve already seen the whole movie.

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Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, PC, PSP, DS, Xbox

33 Comments
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  • EdHas503

    EdHas503  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    unfortunately the ad before the pirates vs ninjas dodgeball does have the usual cutaway shots of perfectly coiffed Wii lifestyle gamers.
    Reply
  • Skykid

    Skykid  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    @DrRock: Army of Two 40th Day is in Shanghai, China you dumbass, not Japan.
    Reply
  • Skykid

    Skykid  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    If you're going to show your stuff then at least make it good. Not the pile of @#$%* I've seen before and loathed.
    Reply
  • willmaster123

    willmaster123  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    lol army of 2 looks incredibly glitchy, the first one wasnt half bad though, so there is a chance of rent, but definetly not buying
    Reply
  • StupidTownColonStupidStateColon

    StupidTownColonStupidStateColon  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    Glass Joe, won in the character reveals for punch out....

    Recaptcha: Baltazar scouted
    Reply
  • jar-head

    jar-head  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    I Seriously thought Velvet assassin was Saboteur..but wait..huh? Are they? One game you play a s a chick, the other speed racer?
    Reply
  • SPANKY2817

    SPANKY2817  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    man i can't wait the second army of two game to come out! or dead rising 2
    Reply
  • darkvare

    darkvare  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    lol one of the dudes from army of two has a hecho en mexico eagle tattoed
    Reply
  • DampedVirus

    DampedVirus  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    Oh and, we need more awkward silence videos. That was amazing.
    Reply
  • DampedVirus

    DampedVirus  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    I will still most likely enjoy Velvet Assassin. And Army of Two really has gone to shit. sigh. That game looked so promising two years ago when you were going to be able to use tampons as bullet-wound plugs and there was, I don't know, going to be some satirical comedy in the game, not the constant bickering of two overly buff adrenaline junkies. Lastly, the trailer for Demigod did that game no justice.
    Reply
  • jonbooey

    jonbooey  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    That woman didn't have her ticket.
    Reply
  • ProfessorBonk

    ProfessorBonk  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    I wonder what happens if you write "MILF" in Scribblenauts? Does Cooking Mama appear?
    Reply
  • JohnnyMaverik

    JohnnyMaverik  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    U can get Condoms in Fable O.o I need to give that game a second chance...
    Reply
  • twishart

    twishart  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    Wow, Army of Two looked pretty bad.
    Reply
  • GoldenMe

    GoldenMe  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    @Mushroomer- Believe in GR.

    At least they're not IGN.

    And besides, Scribblenauts looks "awfully" like Drawn to Life....Well, you do the math.
    Reply
  • gmilf71

    gmilf71  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    ok, all the other game trailers sucked but the army of two one didn't look that bad. at least it looks better than the first one.
    Reply
  • RobbPWNS

    RobbPWNS  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    OH MY GOD! Glass Joe won! This is a sign of the apocalypse!
    Reply
  • RobbPWNS

    RobbPWNS  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    Erm... that is, if by "The following is all in game footage", you mean, "The following is all heavily edited in game footage", then yes, you are right.
    Reply
  • RobbPWNS

    RobbPWNS  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    If by
    Reply
  • kinterq

    kinterq  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    Oh, Wii. You bring us so many childish games. I mean really. Happy faces on the dodgeballs? Hearts on the eye patches? Come on! At least let the ninjas put throwing stars in the dodgballs.
    Reply
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